Jose Cuervo is the Paris Hilton of the Tequila world. When you go out with it, you just know that you are going to look and act slutty. You will be slurring your words, making out with random strangers, and maybe waking up with no memory of why you have dollar bills in your pants. You just feel like you were involved in a wild party. And guess what, that’s hot.
The mineral-rich volcanic soil of Jalisco is the ideal place to grow the blue agave plant, from which all Jose Cuervo Tequila is made. The blue agave plant is nurtured and cultivated by experts known as Jimadors. The pinas are transported to “Destileria La Rojena” and those that meet Cuervo’s high standards are selected for cooking. The agaves are cooked in adobe clay ovens at temperatures reaching 900 degrees Fahrenheit. The tequila’s color comes from being aged in wooden barrels. Every bottle of Jose Cuervo reads: “Hecho en Mexico” to remind everyone that the tequila enjoyed around the world is the pride of Mexico.
When I drink Jose Cuervo Especial, it’s not like drinking most other liquors. There isn’t a fine woody barrel taste or a blend of different exotic fruits and berries. And your tongue isn’t rushed with all types of great distinct flavors. Nope. Not Jose. It just tastes like tequila. I know what you’re thinking, “but Jose is tequila.” What I mean is, Jose tastes like tequila without anything extra or special done to it. It just tastes like tequila. Or at least what I think raw tequila should taste like.
Just as if you were a girl going bar hopping with Paris Hilton, you don’t want anyone to know that you are feeling like a dirty girl. But let’s be honest. When you get drunk off Jose Cuervo Especial you do not want people to be able to notice, but when you start to notice the line for your free lap dances is getting longer than the line to get in the club, there’s no hiding it. For those of you who haven’t caught on yet, this stuff will get you drunk. You will be on your way to dry heaving the morning away in no time. The $20 price tag is great for 750ml of spring break in a bottle. And at that price, why not get two?
So go out and buy a bottle of Jose Cuervo and feel like a short skirted slutty rock star for a night. Just beware of the next morning. It won’t be cute, but the stories might be. And that’s hot.
Also check out our reviews of 1800 Reposado and Jose Black Medallion.
Shootability - 5.5
Mixability - 6.5
Drunkability - 7.5
Hangover-ability - 3.0
Bang for the Buck - 7.0
Chick-appeal - 6.0
Overall - 5.5 
Comments
i’m drinking this right now….and loving it.
I was born with this runnin through my veins and it hasn’t stopped yet!
I just got myself a bottle of it for tonight. 375ml for 20.45 Canadian why not, also got a strawberry tequila mixed case and a heineken beer. I usally don’t drink tequila but when I do sometimes I love it and sometimes it can fuck off it;’s gross butI wanna get fucked up tonght and outa no were feelt like tequila so why the fuck not. Rock on folks but stay safe and don’t get to fucked up LOL peace!
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