Having seen the hype and the frosted, aqua-blue bottle everywhere, the BoozeBasher crew decided it was time to take on Hpnotiq. I mean, how could you not want to try it with all of the stars drinking it? Hpnotiq is called by NBC-TV “the drink of choice of celebrities.” That’s good enough for me.
If you’ve never heard of Hpnotiq, let me explain what it is by quoting the bottle. Hpnotiq is a product of France that is an “exquisite blend of super-premium vodka, natural tropical fruit juices, and a touch of cognac.” It’s very easy to spot on the shelves with it’s glowing, bright blue champagne-shaped bottle. In fact, the practice of mixing Cognac and fruit juices is a well-known tradition of Cognac, France. This spirit is distributed by Heaven Hill Distilleries, which is the nation’s largest independent, family-owned producer and marketer of spirits.
Once you pop the cork on this catchy-looking bottle and pour a glass, you realize that it’s not the bottle that’s blue at all, it’s the liqueur! It makes you wonder what mix of tropical fruit juices they use to get it so bright blue. I guess we’ll never know since it’s a closely-guarded secret. The first sniff really was really not all that pleasant. I think I heard a couple of comments likening it to the smell of an “old shoe” or even ”cat vomit.” It takes a few whiffs to catch some of the more complex aromas of this liqueur. It smelled almost like peaches and citrus.
Sipping this fine liqueur on the rocks is not as sweet as you would imagine from something so fruity-smelling. In fact, it’s quite tropical and smooth. Again, I picked up on the peach and the acidity and bitterness of citrus. There is a slight burn on your tongue from the 17% alcohol, but it vanishes quickly, yeilding to the tropical fruits. It did not take long to figure out that Hpnotiq would mix perfectly with pineapple juice. The pineapple was a perfect compliment to the multitude of tropical fruit flavors. The mixture did sweeten up the drink quite a bit but not excessively.
Unfortunately, because of the low alcohol content, this drink did very little to get me drunk. I did get a slight buzz, but it did not last long. I have no doubt that drinking a whole bottle of this stuff would get you drunk, but I guarantee it will give you one wicked hangover due to the high sugar content. It would give you the sugar and alcohol hangover two-fer. I was not too bad off the next morning because I only had four mixed drinks. I had the usual slight dry mouth and ever-so-slight headache. This was very curable with a few glasses of water and some vitamins.
Coming in at around $20 per bottle, all you need is a drink umbrella and a chair on the beach (or at the pool), and you’re in a tropical paradise. Don’t let the exotic mix of fruit aromas throw you off; give Hpnotiq a try, and enjoy it like Paris Hilton and Justin Timberlake would. I admit they may be bad examples, but they’re still celebrities.
Sipability - 6.5
Mixability - 7.5
Drunkability - 3.0
Hangover-ability - 9.0
Bang for the Buck - 5.0
Chick-appeal - 6.5
Overall - 6.5 
Comments
There is only one use for this, and that’s to make the only cocktail that Hennessy V.S is good for: The Incredible Hulk.
But I’m not going to get a bottle of it, because it looks retarded…
Hpnotiq…
I wonder if they’ll produce a sequel… MZMRIZ. After that? DZZL… perhaps? The less vowels and less creativity… the better!
That “Incredible Hulk” drink tastes pretty bad, but it has some serious kick to it for some reason. It’s surprising.
First whiff smells like glacier freeze gatorade mixed with rubbing alcohol, but tastes much better than that and not as sweet as you think.
I’ll occasionally drink it straight with some ice, but I prefer mix it with any tropical fruit juice (pineapple, orange, lemon/lime, etc) and coconut flavored rum.
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