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Liquor Review: Burnett’s Vodka

Burnett's Vodka     We all have that certain person that we expect to always be around, not for any special reason, just because they can make a boring situation fun or calm, make you go out, give you a reason to stay home, or hell, get you to do just about anything.  Burnett’s Vodka is that person.  There are no special powers or taste here.  This vodka is good for one thing: getting you wasted  in that way you have been dying to experience since Monday morning.  I’m not afraid to admit that a bottle of Burnett’s is a staple in my home.  It’s the only vodka that I keep in stock 99% of the time.  It has a dirty low price and can help greatly in achieving that lovely little buzz I need.

     There wasn’t much to be researched on this vodka, but here is what I could find: Burnett’s Vodka uses an uncompromising production process of quadruple distillation and triple charcoal filtration to remove by-products from grain distillation.  This process makes Burnett’s exceed the level of clarity, quality, and smoothness found in most other vodkas.

     I would not recommend drinking Burnett’s straight or on the rocks.  It is like having the inside of your mouth rubbed down with alcohol prep pads by a very naughty nurse.  Burnett’s is just like the feeling you would have if that that naughty nurse were straddling you in your chair, you feeling her red hair tickling across your face, hearing the sound of her breath as it blows pass your ear, you start not caring about that rough taste in your mouth (sorry, I got off into something else there).  After two swallows of Burnett’s, you just stop caring about the taste and start wondering when the fun is going to start.  Most things that are 80-proof will have you thinking that way.

     Make no mistake, this vodka is no slouch mixed.   Meaning that special nurse can hop into her evening gown and go out with the highest of class, without anyone being the wiser.  Burnett’s mixes so seamlessly that you might start wishing you could freeze this stuff for ice cubes to use in your drinks everyday.  You can notice its taste just enough to remind you that you are drinking a vodka drink.  Plus, it puts a smile on your face to prove it.

     This 80-proof doll costs around $13 for a half gallon from your local liquor store.  Yes, that’s right, $13 for a H-A-L-F G-A-L-L-O-N!  That is a great price for this magical drunk juice.  And you will get that drunken feeling after not too long.  Burnett’s makes the drunk happen!  That’s a good slogan.  Someone tell the people of Heaven Hill Distilleries that I came up with a great slogan for them that they can have, for a price of course.  What?  We reviewers have to eat too!  Who am I kidding?  I don’t eat; I just drink.  Now don’t go off and get too out of control with your naughty new friend.  In the morning, there will be hell to pay.  Too much of this vodka and you will awaken to a rumbling in your stomach that will make you believe you ate those alcohol pads.  You will quickly find out your nurse friend doesn’t care about you at all.  When I went to lie down, she decided she was going to stay up partying, with or without me.  There’s a good chance that she will take off and leave your praying to the porcelain god in your bathroom.

     There is no reason why you should not buy at least 2 bottles of Burnett’s Vodka.  It’s not the best tasting stuff by itself, but then again, you are not drinking because you love complex flavors.  You are drinking because the week can’t end fast enough.  There’s always the option of mixing this vodka with something fruity.  Just do whatever ever it takes to get this one in your system.  Get drunk, go out, and show the naughty nurse who the naughty one really is.

Sipability – 4.5

Mixability – 6.5

Drunkability – 9.0

Hangover-ability – 2.5

Bang for the Buck – 9.0

Overall - 5.5  rating

How do you feel about Burnett's Vodka?
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Comments

  1. scp
    3 January 8:41 pm

    Agreed! This stuff has recently become a staple in my home, as well! It gets the job done! Why spend the extra for Gordon’s when you have this?

    The flavored Burnett’s aren’t that bad either.

    Do more research into Heaven Hill, they have some diamonds in the rough. (Elijah Craig, Henry McKenna, and Pama to mind.)

  2. Matt
    3 January 10:19 pm

    Hilarious. A buddy of mine always has Burnett’s behind the bar and I thought he was just being cheap, good to know he was just looking out for us.

  3. CC Rider
    2 March 12:23 pm

    Ok…

    I bought a bottle of this at Trader Joe’s last night. Figured, what the hell. Unskrewed the cheap plastic cap (not the nice heavy-metal, weighty kind, such as like on a bottle of Skyy 90, but I digress)…

    I like to ‘cut’ my Kahlua with a stiff vodka. Kahlua has an exquisite flavor but… It’s too damned sweet. Even the black label, 70 proof stuff is sickening in its syrupy-ness. So right about a 25% dilution of a quality vodka to Kahlua gets the tonic right in there. Not too sweet and with a bite. The reason you buy sh!t like that in the first place, no?

    Ok.

    So I takes a sip of the Burnett’s (now mind you, I’ve sampled all of the $35 – $50/750ml stuff, so I know what a ‘quality’ vodka tastes like), and to my surprise – Wow…. No antiseptic after-taste. Smooth indeed. So much so, that if we were playing Russian Roulette on a bet of who-could-tell-the-difference on a few ’swapped’ bottles of sub-$10 Burnett’s for the swanky brew, I’d opt out of that bet without hesitation. You ain’t gonna tell the difference, friend.

    And in case you think yer palette is so fine – drop the stakes on a ’safer’ bet and try it. You gonna come up lookin’ like Fool…

  4. Max
    5 March 4:34 pm

    I can’t wait to try some. I get Dubra up here because I have no cash but this stuff sounds much better and its the same price.

  5. Legoman
    15 March 6:00 pm

    Burnett’s vodka might have been the worst vodka I ever put in my mouth, and I want it to be known that I’ve definitely had my fair share of vodkas. Even at it’s cheap price I can’t imagine ever buying Burnett’s again. With this being said; this entire page that almost praises Burnett’s confuses the hell out of me.

  6. scumbag138
    16 April 4:27 am

    yeah, i tried this stuff for the first time a couple of weeks ago…i grabbed two 1/2 gallons when i did my booze run.
    i needed to have some budget booze on hand and remembered the good review this got.
    i gotta say its no bullshit,this might be the best deal on the booze market today; smooth,cheap and gets ya drunk!
    i have been drinking this atleast every other day for the last two weeks.
    so crack open a 1/2 gallon of this and get yourself and all those around you hammered.

  7. DrunkAllDay
    12 June 3:33 am

    I used to drink Skyy vodka only. I guess I was attached to the pretty blue bottle. A friend of mine works in a liquor store and suggested I try the Burnett’s because he said it was about the same and a fraction of the price. That was a year ago and I have been happily drinking a gallon or so of this a week. Can’t beat the price, for sure, and using Tropicana I get vitamin C AND calcium!! Never felt better!! Burnett’s gets my vote

  8. Robert the Drunk
    28 June 5:34 pm

    fuck legoman this is the best vodka for the money. Why is vodka the most popular liquor today? Because it mixes with just about anything. No matter how much you spend or what vodka you buy you still get that rubbing alcohol taste. I never have and never will drink vodka as a sipping liquor. Mix it and it’s a different story. Burnett’s mixes so good with anything you won’t notice the difference between Burnetts or any other vodka. Your wallet will though. Do yourself a favor and pick up a bottle of Burnetts, some Sprite and some cranberry juice.

    and the hangover aint that bad either

  9. carol
    15 July 7:57 pm

    i LOVE burnetts.
    its ALL i drink….seriously. i never drink anything else (if im buying)

  10. Vodkaman
    25 July 11:35 pm

    My wife introduced me to Burnetts Vodka.

    Its cheap. It will get you drunk really fast. It does not leave a bad scent so you can go to work the next day.

    From my experience, Burnettes Vodka in the glass bottle tastes like hospital disinfectant. Burnettes Vodka in the plastic bottle tastes great! What the difference is…I don’t know! I want to know! Would someone please tell me!?

    So right now I’m drinking straight from a plastic bottle of Burnettes Vodka. Tastes great!

    About a month ago I poured a glass bottle of the same stuff doen the toilet because it tasted terrible. WTF?

    Is the recipe different? Do the plastic chemicals “cure” the vodka? Perhaps!

    Good drinking…

    Vodkaman

  11. hannah
    26 August 5:11 pm

    i love burnettes.

    the grape flavor is good with grape gatorade but its kinda a strong grape flavor.

    also i heard that the vanilla flavor is good with orange pop, kinda like a creamsicle.

    try it out man!!

    =]

  12. Lorilea
    5 October 11:36 pm

    I’m in college, so this stuff is a staple when you go through at least a fifth a weekend. It tastes like SHIT, but whatever, I like mixed drinks anyways.

    I do like the flavors and thankfully they are plentiful because you get sick of them pretty fast because most are too damn strong.

    I never get sick of the Lime, however, and the Pomegranate and Strawberry are good. The new Blue Raspberry is AMAZING – comparable to UV Blue.

  13. chyna blue
    21 November 2:31 pm

    Ok, first off, I was a dyed in the wool fan of Skyy vodka for the longest time, both due to it’s flavor and the low hangover level, but after my best friend recommended to Burnett’s to me, I happily and quickly switched to Burnett’s for all my vodka enjoyment. And at 16 dollars a half gal, you cannot go wrong!! We go to a local club here and even conviced them to use Burnett’s for their well brand (as they always used either popovs or some other equally disgusting and high level hangover brand) as the cost was almost the same as the crappy ones they used and well, for the money (generally about 1 dollor or less than the cheap stuff), why not use a much higher quality vodka?! That is all they have been using Burnett’s for the past 9 months now and everyone comments, well those able to comment depending on how many they may have had, how great the vodka based drinks have become!! It is a staple vodka in my home and pretty much the only one I drink now.

    A trick to the flavored varities, it’s best if you cut them with regular Burnett’s, as other mentioned, the flavors are very strong indeed, esp. the vanilla and a bit overpowering (I have found a 1-1 mix usually helps greatly).

  14. bibliogrrl
    30 November 10:54 pm

    I’ve been drinking Burnett’s for about 5 years (mostly because the Vanilla was cheeeaaapppp for screwdriver mixers) and I’ll never go back. I was given a bunch of mini bottles of Finlandia, and I still love the Burnett’s more. I just wish it was easier to find where I live.

  15. Cameron
    3 December 1:37 am

    Why is everyone praising this stuff?! I mean, if you need cheap vodka for party mixers or want to get budget drunk then Burnett’s is a resonable choice. Otherwise, this stuff is pretty terrible tasting vodka – shots are out of the question with this stuff, even if you’re already really drunk.

    I’m confused along with Legoman on this one, although I have had worse vodkas (Potter’s comes to mind as being esp. awful). If you are just trying to get really drunk on a cheap [relatively] mixable liquer why not just go with a neutral grain spirit? And if you are craving vodka why not drop a few more dollars for a significantly better (though still not great) vodka like smirnoff?

  16. rtd
    12 December 5:27 am

    Drunkability, mixability, and bang for the buck, that’s why people are praising it

  17. Brian
    18 December 1:33 am

    This stuff is pure hangover juice! The worst hangovers of my alcoholic career have been from Burnett’s. It does taste good when mixed, however. Burnett’s Vanilla is great with coke, and cherry is even better with Mountain Dew Code Red. That said, whatever fun you had the previous night will be nullified the next morning. I’d stick with Smirnoff for a well priced vodka.

  18. dzd
    19 December 10:56 pm

    When I have the money, I buy Tito’s Handmade and drink it from the freezer. When I don’t, I buy Burnett’s and a couple bottles of soda or cranberry juice. It’s like flying in first class vs. flying in coach; you get to the same place, but one experience is definitely more enjoyable than the other.

  19. Alan
    22 December 9:49 pm

    Burnett’s is for mixing & when I want to get drunk.
    Price at state-controlled liquor store: $12/1.75L

    Smirnoff is for a nice-tasting and universally acceptable social drink, as well as a decent upper-tier mixer.
    Price at state-controlled liquor store: $19/1.75L

    Luksusowa is for myself, when I want something superb – it’s borderline acceptable even on the rocks (a style in which vodka is less than attractive).
    Price at state-controlled liquor store: $18.50/1.75L

    Of the flavored vodkas, I’ve only had Burnett’s, which at $6.99/750ml is an excellent balance of variety & decent-ness. I’ve got half a dozen flavors in my closet.

  20. 23 December 7:51 pm

    Alan, if you find Luksusowa “superb,” you should really give Copin a try. Like Luksusowa, Chopin is a potato vodka. I find it smoother and much more flavorful. I think it may be my favorite potato vodka, and it’s excellent to sip on ice. Give it a try.

  21. Mr. fuckheusen
    31 December 8:41 pm

    im shitfaced on burnetts. i love it. i am 14.

    life is good.

    stay nice bitches.

    i need more of aerosol cans.

    NOW

  22. phoenix666
    9 January 9:46 pm

    Been drinking Burnett’s for a few years off and on. Good stuff. It gets ya there. Never had a hangover with Burnett’s. It’s cheap. Tastes decent. Awesome mixer. Only had one other vodka that was better…something from Germany my sister brought back from a trip. Dunno what it was. But this is the next best thing of what I’ve tried….namely…Stoli..Popov…and Burnett’s. Not a huge sampling, but hey I don’t have the money for much else.

  23. maurena lopez
    24 January 3:41 pm

    Well i was certainly surprized to know that Heaven Hill makes Burnetts theres is a huge difference in the two!!! I will never again waste money in Heaven Hill but gladly buy Burnetts again. Its great in mixed drinks and I have no prob with the glass bottle. Great for when your raising and family and still trying to afford a little adult fun after hours!

  24. mo_pho
    30 January 7:55 pm

    Burnett’s is $12 for a 1.75L at our country controlled liquor store, or you can always buy two and get $5 off–a whole gallon of vodka for less than $20. Can’t beat the price.

    It’s not as smooth as something like Three Olives (which is my favorite), but far better than the other stuff that comes in plastic bottles. I believe it’s the cheapest quadruple filtered vodka (at least at our store) and it gets the job done. I typically have it on the rocks with a squirt of lime. After tipsy, drinking it straight isn’t a problem–no gag reflex, unlike cheaper vodkas.

    Drink too much, and you’ll end up with a hangover, even if you’re not totally hammered drunk. But drink just enough to get tipsy, and there’ll be no problems. Fantastic stuff for the price.

  25. Joe
    20 February 12:12 pm

    I have to say, Burnett’s is quite good for a $13, 1.75L bottle of vodka. My housemates and I generally have a few bottles of the flavored kinds on hand, the blueberry and watermelon are especially good. Especially in jello shooters, the blueberry mixed with some raspberry jello makes the finest jello shot I’ve ever had.

  26. Wooly
    19 March 2:09 pm

    I used to be a huge Burnett’s drinker. The price is so cheap for a great night of fun, I couldn’t seem to buy anything else. No rum or whiskey could match up to Burnett’s value in my opinion. Mixes good with cran-raspberry or some sunny delight. Burnett’s offered me several great nights, its a very social vodka. Although I have currently switched to Pinnacle. I came across this stuff one day at the store and decided to give it a try, and never looked back since. Pinnacle is about the same price as the value saver Burnett’s but offers a better vodka. I’d recommend you guys check it out.

  27. ill
    20 March 11:22 am

    I can’t stand vodka unless it’s mixed with something so for me Burnett’s is one of the best values out there.

  28. gimel
    29 March 1:39 pm

    This stuff is like selling grain alcohol.

    It get’s people fucked up cheap.

    It reminds me when King Edward’s cigars sold for 5 cents.

    I always said..’King Edward’s…the bums’ cigar.

    Burnett is the bum’s vodka.’

  29. James
    30 March 5:41 pm

    hmm i am drinking it now… i mix mine with redbull and i’ve always thought all vodka tasted the same in redbull until now…. this shit sucks! I will be sticking with aristocrat which comes from the same town in the same state as burnetts! glad i only got the 750 ml bottle

  30. 20 May 2:32 pm

    Burnett’s is great, I love this stuff. When I read about it on here and saw all the great reviews I had to try it and its the best drink I’ve had so far and its cheap. One thing that suck about it is in Chicago where I live I had to drive all the way to Stony Island at Kenwood Liqours because they didn’t sell it no where else, but it was worth the drive. I tried it with Tropical Punch first and it was great, then Fruit Punch and 7UP I can taste the alcohol just a little bit. Then I said well I really wanna get messed up so I tried 2 shots of this wasn’t great but it wasn’t that nasty, it wasn’t as nasty as Seagrams Vodka that made me throw up right after drinking it. I give Burnett’s 5 Stars because one its cheap and two it tastes great. I wish they sold it someone closer to me so I didn’t have to make the long drive.

  31. smart person
    21 June 7:15 pm

    Hey chief, stop calling a 1.75 a half gallon; It is less than a half gallon.

  32. WVU Guy
    26 June 12:48 pm

    The perfect 2 person pregame:
    1 Bottle of Cherry “Burnies”
    1 Bottle of Rhino (1.5L fake red bull)

    Gets two people ready for the bar and only costs $14.95.
    Upgrade to the 1.75L for 4 people.

  33. Micah
    1 August 12:07 am

    You know Burnetts isn’t the best tasting vodka but they do have different flavors as long as you have the right chaser you cant beat it for the price of $8 a 1/5. cranberry with cranberry cant go wrong and blueberry is pretty good. Even though i love grey goose when my pocket is dry i know Burnetts is always the best choice.

  34. hulkster
    9 August 2:16 pm

    This stuff used to be ok, but in a post-Sobieski world, I don’t really get the point anymore.

  35. Totmom
    2 September 8:52 pm

    They also have a very popular sweet tea flavored vodka-very popular around here for rail icepicks

  36. Rob
    10 September 6:56 pm

    Hmmmm? well… went out for some flavored vodka for a weekend getaway, asked for the absolut mandarin, then thought twice about the price, thinking maybe i can get the large one to equal a better bargain. Thats when i came across the Burnett’s line around knee height. I thought to myself, i said…self…you can get two of these for the price of the one you almost bought. Then I said…to myself, self…we don’t buy the cheap sh#@. Then i told myself to be open minded and try the stuff, worst case scenario…it sucks. Then i saw a sign which said “distilled 4 times, taste the difference”. Four times i said? sounds fancy enough. as a matter of fact we can get three, for me, myself and I. I chose grape (easy choice) then hmmm? is that coconut?? Ok and what is that?? sweet tea? what can that hurt. And purchased all three for 27$. Got home and placed properly into the freezer. Later the curiosity was killing me so i had to pop the cap and try at least the grape….how do you spell blaaachh!? Ok maybe its me? then tried the coconut. Could work? like malibu i guess? but something in the background hollered Yuk! then the sweet tea, sweet is right and what is that flavor? awk? I immediately started thinking…who can i give this shit to? who would not know the difference and would just appreciate some free booze? let’s not be irrational i thought. Let’s get a second opinion. I cracked up some ice, poured some grape and fed it to the wife. she thought it t be stronger than the usual 70% and i confirmed that it was indeed 70%. she said it tasted like vodka vs yummy clear booze. she thinks this might be a good thing and she will drink less because it reminds her that she is drinking it with each sip. Good…Bad??? i had a sip on the rocks and well…not horrible, i guess. I find myself confused. I will check in again after the weekend with some good stories and a hangover report. I am afraid. I do need to talk to myself less, i know. working on it, shut – up, stop writing, stop telling me what to do, your not the boss of me, bring me another vodka! ok.

  37. Rob
    15 September 8:00 pm

    We drank Plenty O’ Grape w/club & a splash of O.J. All Good! No reason not to love the stuff. Just had a sweet tea vodka with lemon lime club, very nice. Next is the coconut. Thank you Burnett’s

  38. Scott
    16 December 10:40 pm

    It doesn’t taste like vodka. It tastes more like a light whiskey. I actually like the taste of it. It’s very mellow and sweet. It’s def not a typical vodka. Oh and it’s cheap..

  39. Jordon
    21 December 10:32 pm

    I’ve got 1.75l of the stuff in my freezer. Mixes well. Tried it back to back vs Smirnoff in OJ, Could hardly taste any difference and it didn’t taste “worse”, just slightly different. Greygoose might be a bit better, but for $30+ a bottle vs $14 for a 1.75L, i’ll stick with this.

  40. BoPenn
    5 January 2:22 am

    Vodka is my shit. I have drank every different kind under the sun and the most bang for your buck is Burnetts. I am not going to hate on all you flavored Burnnies drinkers but for real things will change when your balls drop. Hopefully at least, for your sake. Either way its the best to go with and all the haters take a long walk off a short pier. Bel AIr, MD.

  41. Mj
    5 January 5:24 pm

    I’ve slept with too many ugly girls after polishing off a few bottles of this, and i still love every minute of it.

  42. 7 January 6:07 pm

    i think this vodka iz deff worth it n its tha shit gotta half gallon up starirs n yup only 12.99 n if yu only drinkin wit another person or two yu will get fukd up im bout to go get a nice buzz mah self !!! who eva says it shit cuz its cheap yu fukn retarded n need to shut up n try it forreal yu gon change ya mindd!!!!

  43. Lord Corn
    29 January 11:31 am

    The nurse theme got old after the second time I read the word, “nurse.” I’m guessing this site gets its “writers” from ads on craigslist offering $1.75/post.

    No matter. Despite a review which could have been written by an autistic chimp, I like this vodka.

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