Liquor Review: Bacardi 151

    I always knew this day would come.  The day when I had to review the devil’s brew.  There’s probably not another liquor out there that has caused more memory loss, fights, bad dancing, puking, public nudity, DUIs, and just flat out stupid mistakes (like babies) all in one night as much as Bacardi 151. I’m sure everyone has his or her own story, or at least a 30-min tale from what can be recalled involving this giant of drunkness, and a few of we lucky ones even have a police report and something they call “video evidence” to help us remember our 151 nights.  Bacardi 151 holds a special spot with me because it’s the first liquor I ever consumed (That explains a lot doesn’t it?).  It was my usher for my first experince into the wasted world.  That night, I even met my first serious girlfriend, a.k.a the b!$@%.  I guess it was a halfway good night.

    I wasn’t able to find much about the creation 151 on Bacardi’s website; hell, they don’t even have it listed as one of thier products.  It’s okay.  There is a lot I can learn just from the bottle.  This stuff is strong.  Any bottle with as many warnings and danger signs printed on it has to have something good  inside, right?  There’s even a flame arrester under the cap.  A flame arrester is basically a metal grid that stops flames from getting into the bottle and turning your bottle of ‘pain go bye-bye’ juice into a molotov cocktail of death.  On the other hand, it also causes the booze to pour really slowly.  This can be a problem when you’re in a hurry to drown the problems of your day.  So again, it’s a half good/half bad situation.

    Now lets get down to brass tax.  Should you drink Bacardi 151 by itself?  No!  Don’t do it.  On to mixing this firewater…wait, what’s that you say?  Why not drink this rum by itself?  Why would you even try this?  If you have to wonder why you shouldn’t just, sip Bacardi 151 on ice, then you’ll understand why shouldn’t be drinking it.  The taste is a horrbile one.  It’s like gasoline aged in an oak barrel.  You will actually wish that your taste buds would go numb so the pain will stop, but they never do fast enough.  This liquor isn’t something people drink for its flavor.  There are only two reasons to drink 151: a) to solve problems, or b) to cause problems.

    As far as I’m concerned, mixed is the only way to enjoy Bacardi 151.  But don’t be fooled into thinking that mixing Bacardi 151 will drown out that firewater taste, because it won’t.  I mixed one and a half shots with 32oz of Coke, and the 151 still burns through.  Dr. Wade recommends taking 151 in mixed shots.  I know that sounds like a sissy way of drinking, but there are no sissies when it comes to this stuff.  There are only fools and the people who drive them.

    Now just because I said drink 151 in shooters doesn’t mean you should go crazy with it.  You will get drunk, and it will come quickly, very quickly.  By my third drink, I was drunk.  By my fifth, I was walking like I was in the depths of and ether binge.  This isn’t one of those tricky liquors that you can’t tell you’re drunk from until you get up to walk.  You’ll be able to tell when that chair you have been sitting in all night starts to feel more a bucking mechanical bull (a very mean and nasty mechanical bull).  Now, I want everyone to get a pad and write this down.  I’ll wait.  Okay, ready?  Bacardi 151 isn’t a drink you want to give to that lucky lady to make you seem more tolerable or attractive.  They go from zero to puke in minutes.  You’ll be holding her hair back and listening to her cry in no time.  Secondly, it is a decent drink to start the night.  Bacardi 151 is not a drink you want to start drinking after you are already drunk.  If you do, you won’t be able to remember who you are the next day, and that’s if you can get the room to stop spinning long enough to make it to the next day.

    Since we are on the subject of the next day, let me just say, fear it.  I awoke with a hangover that made crawling an incredible task.  The worst part was that I had to work in the morning.  I spent most of the day trying to find places to puke secretly.  It was so bad I had to carry a trash can around in front of me so I could throw up and keep walking.  My head felt like that mechanical bull I was riding the previous night was rattling around inside my skull the whole time, and it continued to do so.

    Bacardi 151 comes at a easy price of around $25 for a 750ml bottle at your local place of spirit purchase.  That price is pretty fair for the amount of drunk you can get out of a bottle.  A good drunk is priceless.  If you find your days have become far too long and you just want to get really drunk in a hurry, or hell, if you just enjoy a good hangover, give this rum a try.  But be warned, this is not for the feint of heart.  It really hurts to get that fun drunk with this stuff.  Bacardi 151 will give you some fun times and great stories.  Sadly, it won’t be you telling them.  All your friends will.  You’ll be too busy trying to figure out where your pants are and why there is a tattoo of some guy’s name on your ass.

Sipability - 2.5

Mixability - 6.0

Drunkability - 9.5

Hangover-ability - 2.5

Bang for the Buck - 4.0

Overall - 5.0  

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