Different people like to drink different types of liquors.  Dirty rednecks like to drink the trashy stuff, ritzy people like to drink expensive stuff, alcoholics like to drink…well, anything.  For all these types of drinkers, there are usually a few liquors that seem to cater to all of these groups.  I think Jim Beam Bourbon is one of those special liquors.  No matter what kind of drinker you are, you can handle Jim Beam.

     Jim Beam contains all the pride of its 200-year history.  Originated by Jacob Beam in 1795, it is the product of seven generations of distillers.  Jim Beam starts with only the finest ingredients and cooks them at a lower temperature over longer periods of time than some other distillers.  This gives Jim Beam a natural grain flavor that’s never harsh and always mellow.  While other bourbons may be distilled to as much as 160-proof, Jim Beam is distilled at lower temperatures and reduced to no more than 125-proof, or 62.5% alcohol.  This retains more of the whiskey’s natural, mellow flavor.  Experts believe that the time bourbon spends in the barrel produces its true character, so Jim Beam is aged for a minimum of four full years (twice the federal mandate) to perfect its rich amber glow and uncommonly smooth taste.

     When you first crack that new bottle of Jim, you notice a really woody, strong liquor smell.  You can also distincly pick out a corn-like aroma.  This is how barrel-aged liquor should smell.  As for the taste, it is very similar to the smell.  Jim Beam has a really woody yet sweet flavor that is strong and burns the mouth as you try to swallow down the delicious whiskey.  There is a bit of flaming breath (after taking a sip, you can feel your first exhaled breath burning up from your throat and out your mouth) after each chug, but most 80-proof liquor will do that.  After we stop noticing the flaming breath, we alcoholics at BoozeBasher can tell it’s really worth drinking.

     As for mixing Jim Beam, I don’t really recommend it unless you are an amateur or a very casual drinker.  All mixing does is really weaken the liquor.  The burn of Jim Beam can be overcome, but that whiskey flavor still shines through.  Unfortunately, the mixed taste is just a weaker version of the Beam flavor.  I guess the mixed flavor could be called Diet Jim Beam, and we all know “diet” drinks are never as good as the real thing.

     No matter how much I like the taste of Jim Beam, it couldn’t get me to the happy field of bliss I like to call being drunk. Seeing that it only cost $18 for a 750ml bottle, you will surely to be able to buy enough to get you there.  Luckily, you probably won’t have too much of a hangover the next morning.  I have to admit, that night I slept great and awoke the next day bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready to take on the world.  Whenever you wake up like that, the only thing to do is drink more.  Beam allows you to do just that, and as many of our forum members already know, I went back to drinking Jim Beam as soon as I got out of bed.  This time, I found myself drunk and passed out by 11:30am.  Now if that doesn’t make for a good liquor, what does?

     So don’t let the plain look of the bottle turn you off this one.  When the bottle is this plain, the good people of Jim Beam have more time and resources for making better whiskey.  Beam doesn’t cost much and won’t leave you with a horrible hangover the next day.  Plus, the barrel taste is great, even when its six in the morning and you just don’t really have anything better to do.  It’s never a bad time to drink, and it’s never bad to drink Jim Beam.  Next time you are out, go ahead and bag a bottle.

Sipability - 6.0

Mixability - 6.0

Drunkability - 6.5

Hangover-ability - 7.5

Bang for the Buck - 10

Overall - 6.5

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     For eons, snooping bar managers and bar owners have tried to cut corners and save money wherever possible in providing liquor to bar patrons.  It’s not enough that they get discounted case and bulk prices for bottles of liquor they stock and charge exorbitant prices per drink; they also routinely pay bartenders very small wages.  Most people accept this because the bartenders tend to make a good deal of money from tips.  I am a very generous tipper at the bar, but it bothers me that the bartenders have to depend on people like me and our generosity to pay their bills.  On top of that, the government taxes the hell out of tip money when it comes time to pay taxes (assuming that the tip money is reported).

     I came across this article today that personifies a new trend I have noticed blossoming to cut corners in pubs across the country.  In the article, they feature a company called Nuvo out of Arizona that has introduced a new product called BarVision.  The BarVision system requires that all bottles in the bar be fitted with special pour spouts that calculate the amount of liquor poured and wirelessly report to a computer application.  At the end of the night, the amounts of liquor poured are calculated and compared to the amount of money made.  This ensures that the bar is getting a good income for every pour of alcohol.  I have personally seen a similar system in place at a local bar that requires special spouts that attach to a special cap tied to a computer that measures out an exact shot amount into each drink poured.

     I view systems such as these as a pure evil in the alcohol world.  Systems that force the bartender to pour set amounts of liquor into each drink are going to encourage weak tipping.  Think about it; if a bartender is going to be forced to pour a set amount of alcohol into each drink, why would patrons tip well?  I’m sure some people would still tip well to build a friendly rapport with the bartender, but many will not even bother.  This move will bite the very hands that feed the bar managers and bar owners.  I guarantee the bartenders’ salaries will not increase to reflect any gains in bar revenue.

     Now let’s talk a little about the potential increase in bar revenue.  A Toronto-based company called Bevinco conducted research that suggests that bars may be losing 30 to 50 percent of their profit per drink from over-pouring.  I personally take pride in the fact that bartenders that have known me over the years are more likely to give me strong drinks or the occasional freebie.  This is called building customer loyalty, both to the bartender and the bar.  If I get stronger drinks or more alcohol for my money, I will be much more likely to go to the bar in question.  I’ll also be much more likely to bring friends and large groups to said bar.  This increase in customers will line the pockets of the bartenders and the bar owner alike.  I promise you that no self-respecting alcoholic (I know that may seem oxymoronic) will frequent a bar that measures shots or counts ounces.  This whole idea is challenging the concept of the bartender/bar patron relationship that stands as the foundation upon which alcohol revenue is earned.  I, for one, will fight this trend by not frequenting bars that implement such greedy tactics, and I encourage you all to do the same!

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     Yaaarrggg!  Ahoy maties, I be a captain on a swashbuckler ship.  When ye be wanting to learn about rum ye best be talking to a pirate.  Avast if ye be forgetting that us pirates know rum like we know booty plundering.  When I plan to be out pirating around in me ship, I always make sure I load up on Captain Morgan Private Stock when I be in port.  Well, I make me crew do all the loading of me ship on account I be spending me time with the wenches, plundering.  Yaaarrggg!

     Captain Morgan Private Stock was launched in 1996 and be produced by the Diageo company in Puerto Rico under the name of The Captain Morgan Rum Company.  The distillers know what they be doing as they be making rum since 1944.  They be starting out with some sugar cane molasses, water, mash and yeast.  Once this be distilled, the rum goes into an oak barrel fer aging.  After the rum be aged, a secret mix of island spices be blended in to produce me favorite spiced rum.  As soon as ye uncork the bottle ye can enjoy a strong aroma dominated by vanilla but with an underlying hint of molasses.  It be the best aroma to be found on a swashbuckler ship, but that nay be saying much.  Yaaarrgg!

     I like wenches, but nay as much as I be liking rum.  Drinking me rum always be making the wenches look better.  Yaaarrggg!  Avast if ye be thinking that the only reason to drink Private Stock be to make the wenches look good.  This be one of the best sipping rums to be found, and ye best not be sipping on me stash or it will be a walking of the plank fer ye.  If ye be drinking it straight, then ye be experiencing flavors of mostly sweet molasses with a hint of vanilla and spice.  The strong vanilla aroma not be carrying over to an overpowering vanilla taste.  The overall flavor be smooth and mellow and ye only be getting a slight hint of the alcohol burn.  Ye best be careful not to get carried away by the ease Private Stock be going down.  Aye, she be packing an 80-proof punch, and she be making you wobble when you walk if you have more than a few.  Yaaarrggg!  She nay be so strong that ye be tipping over loaded to the gunwales, though.  If ye be setting sail early the next morning, this rum be a good choice as she will take it easy on ye the morning after a long night of drinking.

     Captain Morgan Private Stock be making fer a good mixing rum if ye want to add it to cola.  It also be making a fantastic egg nog fer me swashbuckler party fer me friends and wenches.  However, if ye really want to be getting the most out of ye Private Stock, I suggest just drinking it straight as everything just dilutes the already delicious flavors.

     Captain Morgan Private Stock be a staple on my swashbuckler ship, fer meself of course.  I make me crew drink RonRico on account they nay be worth the $26 a fifth this rum be costing.  Aye, she be great fer mixing and she be even better on the rocks.  So the next time ye be in port visiting the wenches, pick ye up a bottle before ye go back to pirating.  Yaaarrggg! 

Sipability - 8.5

Mixability - 8.5

Drunkability - 6.5

Hangover-ability - 7.5

Bang fer ye Buck - 6.5

Wench-appeal - 8.5

Overall - 8.0

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