Beefeater Gin was created in the early 1860’s by James Burrough, and the recipie remains nearly unchanged since.  It is made from nine hand-picked natural botanicals that are added to the pure grain spirit.  Juniper, angelica root and seeds, coriander seeds, liquorice, almonds, orris root, seville oranges, and lemon peel are all steeped for 24 hours prior to the eight-hour distillation.  Today, Beefeater Gin is produced in Kennington, London, England.  

     In case you can’t tell they are proud by the label, the James Burrough Company boasts that they are the only premium London dry gin that is still made in London.  In the United Kingdom, the Beefeaters are known as the ceremonial guardians of the Tower of London and also the safeguarders of the British crown jewels.  Perhaps the “Beefeater” figure on the bottle symbolizes the company’s desire to embrace their gin-producing heritage, but what the hell do I know?  I’m no English major.  I just want to embrace liquor.

     Beefeater Gin smells very much like traditional gin.  The insides of the bottle smell like a fresh pine forest in the winter time.  Sipping it on the rocks tastes like consuming a pine forest that has been set aflame.  It’s a mild burn, and the juniper flavor is almost so overpowering as to cover it or at least diminish it a bit.  It’s not a disgusting taste by any means, but I wouldn’t really go for this stuff on the rocks unless I had to choose between that or sobriety.  When combined with tonic water, some of the subtleties of the gin become more apparent.  The juniper is still the most overpowering of the botanicals, especially up front, but the citrus botanicals really spring out during the finish.  This finish is a very dry one that doesn’t linger too long.  If you were to look up gin in a dictionary, Beefeater should be pictured.  It’s taste is what I would call textbook gin.  It’s focused and good for what it is, but at the same time, nothing special has been added to make me crave it.

     Maybe the Beefeater on the front of the bottle isn’t an homage to the English heritage at all,  the Beefeater could actually be guarding the dark secret within the bottle.  What could this dark secret be?  Well, Beefeater simply did not get me drunk.  I was shocked!  This gin is 94-proof in the United States (80-proof everywhere else), but it didn’t give me anything more than a buzz.  I had a total of maybe seven drinks but still felt as though I had only consumed a couple ounces.  The buzz itself was light and nice, but I really wanted a drunk that night.  Don’t turn to this stuff if you are looking to get hammered.  Oddly enough, the next morning, I still had a noticeable headache and a little grogginess.  That’s two thumbs down in my book.

     A bright spot for this gin is the price.  You can get a 750ml bottle for around $17.  That makes it a real candidate for a permanent place on the shelf in your home bar.  If it did more to produce drunken bliss, I think it would be a good liquor to stock for someone who really enjoys the taste of traditional dry gin.  Perhaps I was drinking this stuff on an “off” night.  Perhaps this stuff will give you an awesome buzz.  Perhaps the Beefeater is guarding a sober little secret.  Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps you should give it a try and let us know what you think.

Sipability - 6.0

Mixability - 6.5

Drunkability - 4.0

Hangover-ability - 7.5

Bang for the Buck - 9.0

Overall - 6.0 

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      Everyone knows of Captain Morgan rum.  The people over at the Captain’s distilleries have created yet another incarnation of the regular Captain’s rum that appears it might be ready to stand alongside the best of the rum world.  Captain Morgan Tattoo has to be one of the most unique tasting rums on the market today.  It doesn’t have that barrel aged great taste that most dark rum is known for, but instead it makes its mark with a very different liqueur-ish flavor.  Either way, this should make for a fun night.

     Captain Morgan Tattoo is a bold variation crafted from fine, aged Puerto Rican rum.  It’s blended with a secret combination of premium and hot spices that makes for a sweet, warm finish.  The best way to describe the flavor is a perfect mix of Royale Chambord and Jägermeister.  Meanwhile, Tattoo carries the same proof as Jägermeister, and the taste is just great.  The flavor may prove too much for you if you drink too many of them straight.  But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.  With it’s fruity, raspberry-like, and spiced flavor, this rum is excellent for shots and is a lot friendlier than Jägermeister.  So why not give it a try?

     Now the real fun with Tattoo comes with the mixing.  Every way Captain Morgan Tattoo can be mixed tastes incredible.  Well maybe not all the ways are incredible, but most of them are.  We came up with a delicious little mix, something I like to call “Fresh Ink.”  It’s a mixture of Sprite© and Captain Morgan Tattoo (duh), and it tastes great.  The way it mixes actually tastes substantially better than it does on the rocks.  When Sprite© is added to Tattoo, the raspberry flavor is seperated and not quite as thick, making it easier to drink.  That fruity flavor is what makes this rum taste more like liqueur than  normal rum.  Tattoo is perfect for the causal drinker and the full-blown, “I don’t have a problem, I can quit whenever I want to” drinker alike.  I’m the latter; I can quit whenever I want.

     One of Tattoo’s weak points is that it didn’t give me a serious drunk feeling, even though it is 70-proof.  It was a very weak drunken buzz that didn’t last very long. It was a real letdown. It gave me a drunk that was just strong enough to float the boat.  Surprisingly, after barely being able to maintain a decent drunk, the hangover from it was pretty unfair.  I had a mild headache and a case of the cotton mouth that was horrible.  In defense of Captain Morgan Tattoo, I did drink the whole bottle.  Like I said before, it just tastes wonderful mixed.  Once it hits your lips, it’s so hard not to want more immediately.  I do not have a problem.  When did this become an interrogation?  I just like a few drinks….or 12.

     Perhaps the best part about Captain Morgan Tattoo is that it will only cost you $17.  Something that tastes as good as this rum does for such a low price is well worth purchasing.  It probably won’t get you totally drunk, but it will taste great while trying.  If you would rather have something that is going to get you trashed, you my not care to have this one as a stand-alone drink, but there is always the option of mixing it with something stronger like Everclear 151.  No matter how you drink, Tattoo is at least worth a try.  Just remember you can drink as much as you want; it’s fine, no one is going to judge you here.  Everything is okay now.  You are amongst friends, and you can now join our forum to meet more people with the same life solution as your own.

Sipability - 7.0

Mixability - 8.0

Drunkability - 6.0

Hangover-ability - 7.0

Bang for the Buck - 8.0

Overall - 7.0

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     We recently heard that a drink a day can keep you sane as you grow older.  Now we have more good news because another study has just confirmed previous speculation that moderate drinking can greatly reduce your chances of developing heart disease.  Exactly how serious is heart disease?  Well, for the majority of races, it is the number one cause of death, accounting for 29% of all US. deaths in 2002.  Lucky for us, there is a simple four step program for cheating death.  Step 1: Retrieve glass and ice.  Step 2: Add your favorite liquor. Step 3: Sip until glass is empty.  Step 4: Repeat all previous steps as necessary.

     This new research is not some underfunded amature attempt to get publicity.  A group of nearly 12,00 Danish folks were studied for 20 years to compile the information in this report.  If you read it carefully, you might notice that they also mention something about exercise in conjunction with drinking reducing your risk.  However, I chose not to focus on this nugget of information.  This study provides some hard statistics on exactly how much good a few drinks does for you.  If you are a physically active person, adding a moderate amount of alcohol to your life can reduce your risk of dying from heart disease by 14 to 20 percent.  Of course, there is the continual use of the phrase “moderate drinking,” which is really left up to interpretation by the researchers.  They mention at least one drink a week, but no numeric upper limit is provided. 

     Now when teetotalers attempt to tell you about the ills of alcohol, you can throw the results of this research right back in their faces.  It also turns out that heavy drinkers have about the same risk of developing heart disease as non-drinkers.  So sit back and have a drink, for your health of course.

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