I have an affinity for liquor with some real flavor.  I expect the stuff I sip on the rocks to have enough complexity and body that mixers are not needed to enhance my enjoyment.  With this in mind, I had high hopes for Myers’s Original Dark Rum. 

     Myer’s Rum is produced in Jamaica using a continuous pot still distillation method, a process that creates a full-bodied and more flavorful rum.  This is the traditional method of rum production and the way Myers’s Rum has been produced since 1879.  As a dark rum, a portion of the molasses used in the initial production is retained in the final product.  This final product is aged in white oak barrels for 4 years.  The end result is one of the darkest rums I have ever experienced and also one of the more unique.

     I’ll admit, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl about trying this rum because of that entrancing dark color and the almost cult-like adoration of this rum.  Before the BoozeBasher staff could gather, I couldn’t resist cracking open the bottle just to get a whiff of its contents.  The initial sniff was a mix of strong smokey and tobacco aromas.  A few more sniffs and I was detecting  a sharp metallic odor, the first indication that Myers’s would not live up to my expectations. 

     When tasting it on the rocks, the initial flavor was actually pretty bland.  When the flavor did show up, it was an amazing molasses buttery taste that warmed me up nicely.  If Myers’s could reduce their rum to just that buttery flavor and bottle it, I would be stocking up by the case.  Unfortunately, that wonderful taste was fleeting on the palate and quickly faded into a sharp, dry, metallic finish that was downright unpleasant. 

     I had originally though that Myers’s would make for a optimal mixer in tropical fruity drinks best enjoyed in a hammock on a sandy beach.  We whipped up a cocktail consisting of fruit juices and rum that, unfortunately, looked like sewage water and honestly did not taste much better.  Either I was wrong about my original idea, or we are failures at inventing tropical fruity drinks.  After that debacle, we decided to go with the keep-it-simple-stupid method and tried again with some cola.  Myers’s Rum is not bad when consumed in this fashion.  It added an almost exotic flavor to the cola and the undesirable finish is cut to a resonable level.  Sadly, the best asset of this rum, that buttery flavor, was annihilated in this mixture.  I still think that Myers rum would be nicely complimented by some tropical and Caribbean flavors, possibly a Planter’s Punch, as it seems to be the most popular use of this rum.

     The dissatisfaction with the rum continued when I got around to having a few drinks.  I seem to be completely immune to the alcohol in this bottle of rum.  The bottle claims 80-proof.  I don’t want to call the producers of Myers’s Rum liars, but after a number of drinks, I was stone sober.  I am not even the alcoholic on the BoozeBasher staff; Wade has that position on lock-down.  The good news is that where there is no drunk, there is no hangover.  I had a little cotton mouth the next day, but nothing a glass of water could not fix.

     I was pretty disappointed by Myers’s Rum, possibly because my expectations were so high that I was guaranteeing myself a letdown.  I think it could be spectacular in the right drink, and since I have not given up on it yet, let us know if you have any good recipes.  If you are looking for something a little different, Myers’s Rum is only about $23 a bottle.  I doubt it will get you drunk, but you might find that you are a fan of it’s unique flavor. 

Sipability - 5.5

Mixability - 5.5

Drunkability - 3.0

Hangover-ability - 7.5

Bang for the Buck - 5.5

Overall - 5.5 

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     Patrón is one of the most widely known and recognized tequila brands out there.  Today we’re looking at Patrón Silver, which is produced by the Patrón Spirits Company, high in the mountains of the Jalisco region of Mexico.  The distillery is actually a hacienda that was hand-built from the materials of the region by the artisans.  The hacienda is both elegant and functional and has expanded over the years to meet the demands of the world.  Patrón is the number one exporter of 100% pure agave tequila, yet it’s still produced in small batches to maintain quality.  Like all tequilas, Patrón Silver is produced by cooking the agave “pineapple” to perfection.  Then it is macerated before fermentation.  Silver is then double distilled and fine filtered before being hand-bottled in a handmade bottle.  Every bottle passes through about 60 pairs of hands before it is packaged for distribution.  That’s a lot of hands.  I hope they were all washed too; that’s a scary thought.  Anyway, every bottle of Patrón is labeled with a unique number which makes it truly “one of a kind.”  The bottle I got was No. 28411813.  That’s a lot of bottles of tequila!  Let’s see how mine turned out, shall we?

      Uncorking this one-of-a-kind bottle unleashes a very distinct tequila aroma that is very plain and simple.  It’s pure, unadulterated tequila; nothing more, nothing less.  Patrón Silver spends no time in a barrel, so it retains its crystal clear color.  Taking that first shot, you can tell that this is a smooth tequila.  It goes down easy.  Then comes the not-so-attractive expression on your face.  The aftertaste bites and bites hard!  I also noticed a tingling, burning sensation that lingered on my tongue along with the harsh flavor.  It was a surprisingly rough and dirty tequila aftertaste.  Just to clarify, the BoozeBasher crew takes their shots at room temperature with no training wheels (no salt or lime).  Whoever came up with that rule should be shot when it comes to Silver.  When doing the drunkability of Silver I decided to use the tried-and-true “lick it, slam it, suck it” method of taking shots.  This made the whole experience significantly better.  Shooting Patrón with training wheels seriously cut back on the aftertaste and left me with a nice warming sensation all the way down.  Mixing Patrón Silver with Sprite© also turned out to be an equally good experience.  The sweetness of the Sprite© really compliments the liquor well and eases it down your throat.  Drinking Patrón this way adds some sweetness and really cuts down on that lingering burn.

    After doing my required four shots of Silver, you can bet I was fired up and ready to go.  It got me nice and drunk in no time.  I felt energetic and a little mischeivious.  I’m sure it would have had me dancing wildly on the table if I had kept going.  Luckily for those present, I was aware of what tequila could do and avoided this horrible spectacle altogether.  We’ve all heard the stories, and they are most definitely true.  I’ve spent my fair share of time dancing like a complete fool while out-of-my-mind drunk from tequila.  Luckily for me, the morning after drinking Patrón Silver was not horrible.  I suffered the usual mild headache, upset stomach, and dry mouth.  Some water and a light meal got rid of all that unpleasantness.  Going back to the upset stomach for a moment, I found my stomach quite upset after taking four shots.  I think it was something to do with that burn on my tongue, the acidity.  I’m sure the lime didn’t help either.  It wasn’t a big deal, but it’s definitely something you should take into consideration.

     Purchasing Silver will set you back about $56 for a 750ml bottle.  That seems a bit much for what you get, but it is a pretty standard price for a premium tequila.  If you’re a huge Patrón fan, it will seem well worth it for the smoothness and drunkeness it provides.  For my money, it’s Cabo Wabo all the way.  That stuff is delicious!

Shootability - 4.5

Mixability - 6.5

Drunkability - 8.0

Hangover-ability - 7.5

Bang for the Buck - 3.5

Overall - 6.5 

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     I have drunk a lot of liquor throughout my drinking career, and I have to admit, I have never consumed a vodka quite as cocky as Svedka.  Svedka claims to be voted the number one vodka of 2033.  Yes, that’s right, 2033.  They are so sure of this that their whole website is designed around that whole premise.  Personally, I found the theme annoying; it got old fast.  However, I’m not here to review websites; I’m here to review booze.

     By combining a centuries-old Swedish vodka recipe with tomorrow’s distillation technology, the people at Svedka have created the unparalleled taste of Svedka.  To make one bottle, they meticulously distill over three pounds of high quality Swedish wheat for over 40 hours in their innovative five-column process.  Then it is blended with the finest spring water to give Svedka a clean, crisp taste.  They must have a lot of faith in their liquor making process if they claim it will still be around in 2033.  Its kind of sad to think that it will probably outlast my liver.

     Being five times distilled and 80-proof, Svedka should be well on its way to getting my approval.  However, the straight taste is rather harsh.  It tastes like water with the sting and smell of alcohol.  The strength of the alcohol is all you will be able to notice.  Well, that and the burning in your mouth that tells you your taste buds are clocking out and going home for the remainder of the night.  Funny, after three shots, you don’t taste the burn or anything.  We will put a check mark in “good things” column for that attribute.  When mixed, it’s pretty much the same as other cheap vodka like Burnett’s.  Svedka mixes almost too well.  It’s hard to control your drunk if you don’t know how drunk you are actually getting.  I guess low-priced vodka is the roofie of the liquor world.

     As I stated before, Svedka is 80-proof and is sneakier than a ninja covered in Pam cooking spray.  I could barely taste its alcohol flavoring.  Svedka possesses all the tools needed to give you a wonderfully-sneaky drunk, and it actually gets the job done at a pretty reasonable rate.  I was singing the praises of my new-found friend of the year 2033 by the end of the night.  I think I saw that little robot girl from their ads.  She was nice, but a bit of a whore and stuck on herself.  As for my hangover the next morning, it wasn’t the worst.  I had a weak headache and some cotton mouth, but Svedka had an extra bonus for me in memory loss.  I could only remember the beginning of the night.  I will just have to find out about anything that happened later in the evening when it pops up on the Internet.

     I happened to find buy a bottle of Svedka for a crazy-low price.  I paid $18 for 1.75 liters, but you can find the 750ml bottle online for $14.  That’s a good price for a liquor that should be able to get you drunk without being too hard on you in the morning.  Besides, this is the best liquor in 2033.  It’s a fact.  Look at the little sign on the bottle.  Signs don’t lie.

Sipability - 7.0

Mixability - 7.0

Drunkability - 8.0

Hangover-ability - 6.5

Bang for the Buck - 9.5

Overall - 7.0 

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