When most people think of Russian liquor, vodka is the first thing that comes to mind, so we were excited to try vodka from Russia’s number one selling vodka brand.  Released in 1998, Russian Standard Vodka is owned by entrepreneur Rustam Tariko’s Roust Group.  It is produced in St. Petersburg, Russia in a top-notch distillery.  This vodka is made from choice wheat grain and is charcoal filtered two times for extreme clarity.  Russian Standard gets it’s name by conforming to the “standard” formula for vodka production established in 1894 by Professor Dimitri Mendeleev for Russia’s Czars, and the bottle even has Mendeleev’s signature depicted on the bottom of the bottle.  The bottle’s shape is inspired by the 200-ton bell commissioned by Tsarina Anna I that stands at the foot of the Ivan the Great Bell Tower in Moscow.  It’s an attractive bottle, and the raised portions around the label make for easy gripping, which is a must for the booze hound and the budding alcoholic alike. 

    Russian Standard vodka smells like you would expect vodka to smell.  It’s definitely reminiscent of rubbing alcohol, but there is also something else there.  Maybe it’s just me and my unhealthy affinity for vodka, but I catch hints of earthy wheat after sniffing the spirit admittedly too much.  It’s somewhat appetizing.  Remember, it’s distilled from whole wheat, which is part of a staple food group in the USDA’s food pyramid.  They probably didn’t have vodka in mind when making that pyramid, but it’s my body; I’ll put whatever I want into it.  I digress.  The taste of Russian Standard vodka is nothing extrodinary, but it really does embody a good, traditional vodka taste.  It’s very smooth for a vodka in it’s $25 or less price range, and it doesn’t burn the esophagus on the way down.  The flavor might come off as a little bland, but there is a distinct wheaty, breadlike flavor that comes across more in the finish and aftertaste.  The aftertaste lingers a bit more than you may expect from vodka, but it is a warm, pleasant one.  It just stands as a reminder that you have been touched by a spirit, and it urges you to make repeat contact.  Unlike my theiving house banditos, this is a spirit that is certainly welcome in my home.

    Mixing Russian Standard does what most good vodka does, blend.  Even mixing with Sprite© tucks all the bite and sting of the liquor away behind the carbonated flavor.  This vodka doesn’t add much to a mixed drink, but you can still taste a hint of that breadlike taste in the aftertaste.  I would definitely recommend this for making mixed drinks; just don’t expect it to add too much to the beverage.  You might want to spring for something more flavorful for a vodka martini…maybe something like Cîroc or Level.

    The buzz I got from Russian Standard sank me into a relaxed, you might say almost lethargic state.  I became content with my surroundings, which happen to be my empty and lonely bedroom, and felt a sense of relaxation or even sleepiness.  These feelings came about fairly quickly and never turned into a harsh or sloppy drunk.  This would be good vodka to consume when meeting the girlfriend’s parents for the first time.  It will get you nice and relaxed without too much concern of a drunken slip-up.  No one wants to be loose-lipped about sexual exploits or other vulgar confessions while in the presence of the potential in-laws.  And no, I’m not going to share a story with you, so bugger off! 

    On the flip side of the buzz, the feeling the next day was really nice.  I felt a few cobwebs early on, but after gulping some water and taking a much-needed shower, I felt as good as new.  Russian Standard is definitely one to consider drinking when you feel you have to get drunk, but you have obligations the next day.  Don’t come after me if it hurts you the next day, but I really did feel spectacular the next morning.  All things considered, Russian Standard vodka would make a good liquor to keep in stock at the home bar.  I would stock it for making mixed drinks, but I can’t get it in any of my local liquor stores.  Bummer.  If you can get your hands on it, give it a taste, and let us know what you think.

Sipability - 7.5

Mixability - 7.5

Drunkability - 7.5

Hangover-ability - 9.0

Bang for the Buck - 8.0

Overall - 8.0 

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    Okay, I can admit it, I have a bit of a problem.  It turns out that I am a little bit of a liquor snob, especially with Scotches and the single malt varieties.  I have a very difficult time walking out of a liquor store with a blended Scotch when I know that there are a number of delicious single malts calling my name from the shelf.  However, I managed to summon some will power and purchased a box, containing a bottle, containing the finest Scots Whisky.  Well at least that is what Berry Bros & Rudd, the makers of Cutty Sark, claim. 

    Cutty Sark was created on the 20th of March, 1923.  This Scotch was the brainchild of the Berry Bros., a wine and spirit merchant that was established in 1698.  Senior partner Francis Berry insisted on blending only the finest malt whiskies and each of those whiskies should be naturally light in color.  The resulting product consisted of about 20 different single malt whiskies, mostly from the Speyside region of Scotland, and high-quality grain whiskies.  The individual whiskies are matured in American Oak barrels before blending.  After blending, the mix is aged together for another 6 months creating the final product you can purchase for about $22.

    The name “Cutty Sark” was suggested by famous Scottish artist James McBey when he was invited to a luncheon with the partners of Berry Bros.  It is named after the world’s last tea clipper, the Cutty Sark.  This seems appropriate because the ship was used to ship fine Scottish whisky around the world.  Oh wait, actually it was used for shipping tea in between China and London.  Later, it was also used in the Australian wool trade.  Maybe the artist was really just obsessed with the undergarment bearing the name cutty sark, often worn by women in the 18th century?  Actually, drinking Scotch named after undergarments is a bit awkward, so we’ll just stick to the ship story.  The Cutty Sark clipper is still around today and you can actually visit it if you happen to be in Greenwich.  Unfortunately, in May of 2007, the Cutty Sark sustained extensive damage from a fire, so it is currently under repairs and restoration.  Honestly though, if you are reading this site you probably don’t care about the ship anyway.  You care about the Scotch, so lets get on with it.

    We cracked open the bottle, took a wiff, and then immediately wished we had not.  It has a nice initial oakey aroma, but it was followed by what can only be described as fresh vomit.  We poured it over some ice and could not help but notice Cutty Sark’s incredibly light, pale-gold color.  The first sip was a bit harsh.  It warms the mouth and throat the same way a branding iron warms a cow’s hide.  Surprisingly, after a few sips it smoothed out and went down relatively easily.  Now the flavor of Cutty Sark is where we run into a big problem.  As I have mentioned before, I enjoy liquors that can stand on their own in terms of flavor and complexity.  Cutty Sark has a very light flavor, and by light, I mean virtually nonexistent.  There is a nice oak flavor, but it vanishes so quickly it’s hard to enjoy.  There really isn’t a finish to speak of, other than a slight bitterness.  I suspect that the 20 single malts in this bottle spent very little time in barrels.  There is not even a hint of the smokey and peaty flavors that you expect from Scotch.  It tastes more like some oak sawdust was dumped into a vat of young Scotch, stirred it around for a bit, and then filtered to remove the chunks of wood.  Basically, the BoozeBasher staff does not understand the purpose of scotch without flavor, and as such, we could not give it a very high rating.

    Cuty Sark is an 80-proof liquor, but it didn’t give me an 80-proof buzz.  I really was expecting a little more out of this Scotch in the drunk department.  The good news is that I felt fine the next morning.  I could tell I had a few drinks the previous night, but there were no real ill effects.  Cutty Sark, to me, is a watered-down version of a Scotch.  The color, flavor, and drunkability are all significantly less than you would expect.  If you are a vodka drinker trying to get into whiskies, then Cutty Sark might be a good transitional liquor.  However, if you are a Scotch or whiskey drinker, I suggest you spend your money elsewhere.

Sipability - 4.5

Mixability - N/A

Drunkability -6.0

Hangover-ability - 7.5

Bang for the Buck - 8.0

Overall - 5.5 

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    Ever wonder what that bottle of booze wearing the little black hat might be?  Well I’ll introduce you to it.  It’s name is Broker’s, and it’s gin.  He’s charmed to meet you, and I know you feel the same way.  Broker’s Premium London dry gin, imported to us from the lovely people of England, is 94-proof and everything you expect a gin to be, not a cent more.  But just owning a bottle that comes with its own cute little hat is enough to give this gin a try.  Now that you two have met, let me tell you whether or not you should care about this bloke.

    The distillery where Broker’s Gin is made is located near Birmingham, England and is over 200-years-old.  There had previously been a brewery on the site, but this was converted to a distillery at a time when gin making became more profitable than producing beer. The distillery uses only traditional pot stills.  Continuous distillation using column stills is more efficient and is used by the major brands, but pot stills are better for extracting maximum flavor from the botanicals in a traditional hand-crafted fashion.  Plus, There is an underground spring beneath the distillery that provides a source of soft, pure water.  The 200-year-old recipe for Broker’s Gin was chosen after taste-testing against several newer recipes.  The base spirit for Broker’s Gin is a triple-distilled pure grain spirit made from English wheat.  The flavor is provided by ten natural botanicals, the primary one of which is juniper berries, as in all gins.  Dried botanicals are sourced from all over the world and shipped to the distillery in sacks.  In the first step of the flavor infusion process, the botanicals are steeped (soaked) in the base spirit in the still for 24 hours.  The still is then fired up for the final, fourth distillation, which completes the process.

    Broker’s solo taste is exactly what you would expect a plain gin to taste like.  It’s a sour, burning citrus flavor with nothing exciting or really disappointing coming from it.  It doesn’t taste good, but its not too bad either.  I can’t really say too much about a gin that is so plain and unimpressive.  Even mixed in a martini or with tonic, it’s shine was a very lackluster one.  Broker’s really suffers from the fat girl in a cute dress syndrome.  The fat girl wearing a cute dress isn’t attractive; she is just a fat girl in a cute dress.  Broker’s gin mixed with any good mixer doesn’t taste any more delicious; it just tastes like a basic gin combined with mixers that could probably used for something better.

    Now you are probably wondering, why even spend a cent on this gin?  The answer lies in the drunk it gives you.  The 94-proof of this gin goes straight to work getting you where you want to be after a long day of work.  A funny thing happens when Broker’s start taking hold of you.  That bottle that I was so keen on before with its cute little hat really started to piss me off.  “How dare this bottle wear a hat,” I began to grumble.  The bottle started giving off that “I’m better than you because I have a hat” look.  When you are drunk, especially the way Broker’s makes you drunk, nothing will piss you off more than someone who acts like they are better than you.  I’ll be damned if I let a bottle treat me like that!  Well, I guess drunken rage got the better of me, and the bottle didn’t survive the night.  It caught the Office Space beat-down.

    As what happens with any liquor that can cause a drunken fury as fast as this one, it left me with a harsh hangover.  I felt like I caught the beat-down the night before.  I had an upset stomach, headache, cotton mouth, and breath that could give the blind sight, then take it away.  It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but it wasn’t any walk in the park, either.  It took a good 12 hours before I even cared to look at booze again.

    You should be able to find a 750ml bottle of Broker’s gin for around $20.  That’s not much for the for the drunk you’ll get, but there are other gins that do it better for less.  With that said, all those other gins will leave you with a hangover twice as bad.  If you are a gin drinker, this is one you will probably want to pass on.  It doesn’t bring anything new to the table.  It tastes like they did just enough to this booze to call it gin and decided that was good enough.  Maybe that’s why they gave the bottle a hat, to distract you from the basic 5 shots gin inside.  Personally, I’ll stick to Tanqueray Rangpur, which is still the best gin I have ever tasted for the money.  So give Broker’s a try if you just want a gin to get you wasted, but don’t expect much more than that.

Sipability - 5.0

Mixability - 5.5

Drunkability - 8.0

Hangover-ability - 6.0

Bang for the Buck - 7.0

Overall - 6.0 

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