We BoozeBashers are always on the lookout for good spirits that are easy on the wallet,  so  I dug deeply into my alcohol-depleted memory banks and recalled a delicious vodka I had once consumed while on a road trip to Chicago with college buddies.  I remember stumbling across a half-gallon of vodka called Sobieski in Bobak’s Sausage Company (a Polish grocery store) that was on sale for $15.  I was elated to find any kind of liquor in a grocery store and even more excited to find this brand for such an affordable price.  I was later blown away by the taste of Sobieski that night.  After coming all the way home, I was shocked at how difficult it was to find this vodka.  A few years later, I found myself back in Chicago on business, and I was determined to get back to Bobak’s to get my hands on more Sobieski.  Unfortunately, my journey there failed to produce this vodka.  The trek from my Hilton Suite to Bobak’s began with a naked man on my elevator ride down and ended on a subway train around midnight when a particularly scary man progressed from talking to himself to random groans and eerie looks in my direction.  I decided to turn back before the train made it to my ultimate destination.  I thought I might never see Sobieski again, but to my delight, I noticed it beaming back at me one day from a shelf in a local liquor store!  I was a relatively inexperienced drinker the last time I consumed Sobieski, and wondered if  would I still like it?  How would it fare in a BoozeBasher tasting?  Read on to see.
 
    Sobieski is a Polish vodka named after King Jan III Sobieski and is actually owned by the Belvedere Company of France.  Poland claims to be the birthplace of vodka though the true origin of the spirit is debated.  The people at Sobieski renounce gimmicky trends like making vodka from grapes or distilling it many extra times.  Sobieski is made from Dankowski rye that is harvested from the Mazowse fields of Poland, and water from the Oligocene springs is used to create “one of the smoothest and purest vodkas in the world.”  That certainly sounds appealing to me.

    Sobieski smells and tastes like vodka should.  The scent yields a subtle alcohol smell with no noticeable fruity or sweet bouquets.  Similarly, the taste over ice doesn’t bring any cheap thrills.  There is nothing at all fancy about Sobieski’s flavor.  There is really no noticeable infused taste, but the grain gives a subtle yet deep and almost dark flavor to the vodka.  The incredible smoothness of the vodka almost entirely hides this taste until the exhale after sipping.  There is really no burn at all.  Sobieski finishes dry and succinctly.  It is fantastic!  I have tasted many “ultra-premium” vodkas, but Sobieski ranks among the tops for smoothness and pure enjoyability.  This vodka is so smooth and easy to drink on the rocks that it could prove dangerous in the wrong hands.  Drinking Sobieski with a little Sprite is equally enjoyable.  Although it lacks serious flavor to compliment the soda, it blends almost completely away.  If you concentrate, you can still pick up on a little bit of the grain taste, and you will still notice the dry finish.  Sobieski is the perfect vodka to slip extra booze in the drink of someone who *gasp* doesn’t like the taste of alcohol.  When mixed, this spirit goes from dangerous to deadly.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. Naked Elevator Man pounded down a dozen of these drinks.  It would be frighteningly easy to do, and it might just make you comfortable with walking around naked in public.

    After drinking a good bit of Sobieski, I relished a state of noticeable drunkenness.  It was a functioning yet carefree state that was quite pleasurable.  It brought with the drunk a little kick of energy that would make this a great beverage to start a big night out on the town.  Just be careful not to lose count unless you don’t care to remain clothed.  The next morning wasn’t incredibly friendly.  I had noticeable cotton mouth, and my head was pounding in a very unkind fashion.  Sobieski is a spirit that should be consumed in excess primarily on the weekends.  I don’t think I would have enjoyed working too much after a night with this stuff.  

    You can get your hands on a 750ml bottle of Sobieski for around $12 or so, making it an utter steal.  It mixes extremely well, and the smooth drinking experience rivals that of vodka that costs more than double the price.  You shouldn’t have too much trouble finding a bottle anymore now that they have expanded their US market a bit.  If you are like me and enjoy the taste of good vodka, buy a couple bottles and simply enjoy every drop neat or over ice.  You will be hard-pressed to find any vodka this good anywhere near its price range.

Sipability - 7.5

Mixability - 7.5

Drunkability - 8.0

Hangover-ability - 6.0

Bang for the Buck - 10.0

Overall -  7.5   

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    I always knew this day would come.  The day when I had to review the devil’s brew.  There’s probably not another liquor out there that has caused more memory loss, fights, bad dancing, puking, public nudity, DUIs, and just flat out stupid mistakes (like babies) all in one night as much as Bacardi 151. I’m sure everyone has his or her own story, or at least a 30-min tale from what can be recalled involving this giant of drunkness, and a few of we lucky ones even have a police report and something they call “video evidence” to help us remember our 151 nights.  Bacardi 151 holds a special spot with me because it’s the first liquor I ever consumed (That explains a lot doesn’t it?).  It was my usher for my first experince into the wasted world.  That night, I even met my first serious girlfriend, a.k.a the b!$@%.  I guess it was a halfway good night.

    I wasn’t able to find much about the creation 151 on Bacardi’s website; hell, they don’t even have it listed as one of thier products.  It’s okay.  There is a lot I can learn just from the bottle.  This stuff is strong.  Any bottle with as many warnings and danger signs printed on it has to have something good  inside, right?  There’s even a flame arrester under the cap.  A flame arrester is basically a metal grid that stops flames from getting into the bottle and turning your bottle of ‘pain go bye-bye’ juice into a molotov cocktail of death.  On the other hand, it also causes the booze to pour really slowly.  This can be a problem when you’re in a hurry to drown the problems of your day.  So again, it’s a half good/half bad situation.

    Now lets get down to brass tax.  Should you drink Bacardi 151 by itself?  No!  Don’t do it.  On to mixing this firewater…wait, what’s that you say?  Why not drink this rum by itself?  Why would you even try this?  If you have to wonder why you shouldn’t just, sip Bacardi 151 on ice, then you’ll understand why shouldn’t be drinking it.  The taste is a horrbile one.  It’s like gasoline aged in an oak barrel.  You will actually wish that your taste buds would go numb so the pain will stop, but they never do fast enough.  This liquor isn’t something people drink for its flavor.  There are only two reasons to drink 151: a) to solve problems, or b) to cause problems.

    As far as I’m concerned, mixed is the only way to enjoy Bacardi 151.  But don’t be fooled into thinking that mixing Bacardi 151 will drown out that firewater taste, because it won’t.  I mixed one and a half shots with 32oz of Coke, and the 151 still burns through.  Dr. Wade recommends taking 151 in mixed shots.  I know that sounds like a sissy way of drinking, but there are no sissies when it comes to this stuff.  There are only fools and the people who drive them.

    Now just because I said drink 151 in shooters doesn’t mean you should go crazy with it.  You will get drunk, and it will come quickly, very quickly.  By my third drink, I was drunk.  By my fifth, I was walking like I was in the depths of and ether binge.  This isn’t one of those tricky liquors that you can’t tell you’re drunk from until you get up to walk.  You’ll be able to tell when that chair you have been sitting in all night starts to feel more a bucking mechanical bull (a very mean and nasty mechanical bull).  Now, I want everyone to get a pad and write this down.  I’ll wait.  Okay, ready?  Bacardi 151 isn’t a drink you want to give to that lucky lady to make you seem more tolerable or attractive.  They go from zero to puke in minutes.  You’ll be holding her hair back and listening to her cry in no time.  Secondly, it is a decent drink to start the night.  Bacardi 151 is not a drink you want to start drinking after you are already drunk.  If you do, you won’t be able to remember who you are the next day, and that’s if you can get the room to stop spinning long enough to make it to the next day.

    Since we are on the subject of the next day, let me just say, fear it.  I awoke with a hangover that made crawling an incredible task.  The worst part was that I had to work in the morning.  I spent most of the day trying to find places to puke secretly.  It was so bad I had to carry a trash can around in front of me so I could throw up and keep walking.  My head felt like that mechanical bull I was riding the previous night was rattling around inside my skull the whole time, and it continued to do so.

    Bacardi 151 comes at a easy price of around $25 for a 750ml bottle at your local place of spirit purchase.  That price is pretty fair for the amount of drunk you can get out of a bottle.  A good drunk is priceless.  If you find your days have become far too long and you just want to get really drunk in a hurry, or hell, if you just enjoy a good hangover, give this rum a try.  But be warned, this is not for the feint of heart.  It really hurts to get that fun drunk with this stuff.  Bacardi 151 will give you some fun times and great stories.  Sadly, it won’t be you telling them.  All your friends will.  You’ll be too busy trying to figure out where your pants are and why there is a tattoo of some guy’s name on your ass.

Sipability - 2.5

Mixability - 6.0

Drunkability - 9.5

Hangover-ability - 2.5

Bang for the Buck - 4.0

Overall - 5.0  

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    Here we have another Canadian whiskey, only this time everyone knows about it.  Most of the folks who read this review are probably already well experienced drinkers of Crown Royal.  If you fit that category I can understand this review boring you a bit.  After all, this stuff is everywhere, from almost everyone’s personal home bar to every single restaurant, bar, and club in the country.  It seems to me that when it comes to whiskey, the average Joe can only think of Jim, Jack, and this stuff.  Those poor bastards have no idea what they are missing, but that’s okay.  Crown is good stuff.  First, let’s talk about some Crown Royal facts, then we’ll see how it faired with the BoozeBasher crew.

    Crown Royal is distilled at the Gimli Distillery located in Gimli, Canada.  The distillery utilizes natural local grains, pure water from a local source, and the perfect climate that supports the distillation process.  Aside from Crown Royal, there is the Cask No. 16, Extra Rare, and Special Reserve.  Crown Royal is the baseline whiskey of the brand and is derived from a blend of premium whiskies.  The individual whiskies are matured in special oak casks, blended, and set aside for aging.  The result is a rich, golden-colored whiskey with a smell of fruit and vanilla that boasts a sweet oak and vanilla taste.

    I have to admit, I wasn’tsurprised that the BoozeBasher staff had mixed opinions for the taste tests.  First up was a pour of Crown on the rocks.  The taste of alcohol seems to overpower the whiskey flavor.  After the initial bite, we noticed a sweet floral flavor followed by a mild sour aftertaste.  Overall, it doesn’t seem like Crown Royal on the rocks lives up to the hype.  This may cause some controversy amongst Crown fans, but our consensus is that there are simply much better whiskeys out there for sipping over ice.  Are you upset now?  Do you hate us?  Well, I hope this makes you feel better. 

     The next test was performed with a splash of good old Coke, resulting in that mixed drink we all know and love.  These two liquids were simply meant for each other.  Crown and Coke is a great mix.  The mixture produces a good floral whiskey flavor with about half the bite of the pour on the rocks.  It’s quite tasty and refreshing.  In fact, this drink tastes so good that even the ladies tend to dig it.  No disrespect to the whiskey drinking ladies, but let’s face it, most women don’t like whiskey.  Nevertheless, if Crown Royal makes the ladies happy, then it makes me happy, because sometimes it makes them make me really happy.  I’ll end it there.

    After enjoying four drinks each mixed with Coke, loaded with at least a shot and a half, I was feeling great.  The drunk was very smooth and energetic but not extreme. While some of the BoozeBasher staff and I were out, I did my best to stick to Crown Royal in an effort to keep a pure drunk.  I think I can add about four more to the total count.  By the end of the night, I was pretty intoxicated, but I was able to function quite well.  Crown made a good showing in the drunkability department.  Even after the good drunk, the hangover from Crown was surprisingly mild.  I noticed just the typical hint of dehydration, but I was up and about pretty quickly the next morning.  I’ll have to highly recommend this stuff if you really want to get trashed while not risking death the next day.

    One of the only things that brings Crown Royal down is the price.  Let’s face it; it’s not that cheap compared to other whiskeys.  A 750ml bottle averages around $20.  That isn’t ridiculously pricey, but it would be nice if it were a few bucks cheaper.  Nevertheless, Crown Royal is pretty good stuff, and most drinkers tend to like it.  So if you have a few extra bucks and are in the mood for a good whiskey, why not invest it in a bottle of Crown Royal?

Sipability - 6.0

Mixability - 7.5

Drunkability - 8.0

Hangover-ability - 7.5

Bang for the Buck - 6.0

Overall -  7.5   

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