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Liquor Review: Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum

Published on July 7th, 2009 in Liquors of the Month, Rum by Wade

Sailor Jerry's I want to start this review off with one question, how have I been living my life without this rum? Sailor Jerry spiced rum is the kick in the ass that every rum drinker needs to get out of the boring rum cycle that many of us have come to know. Sailor Jerry is here to make companies like Bacardi and Captain Morgan up their rum game. Who says change is a bad thing? This affordable, flavorful, 92-proof beauty of a rum shouldn’t be overlooked.

After five years of selling shirts, jackets, socks, and ash trays, the people of Sailor Jerry felt something was missing. That something was booze, so they decided to make their own. They knew the booze they made would have to be consistent with the bold spirit and high standards of the tattooist, Sailor Jerry. One of the few ways to see the world in the old days was being a sailor. The downside was it took a heck of a long time to get to see these places around the world. That meant lots of hours aboard a ship in the middle of the ocean with no women and no bars. But one thing they did have on board was rum…barrels of it. They also had loads of spices, dried fruits, and other items that the ships transported, so sailors got creative and came up with their own special recipes of spiced rum. After collecting old recipes and late nights of taste testing, the fine people of Sailor Jerry developed Sailor Jerry spiced rum, a 92-proof blend of Caribbean-style rum with vanilla, lime, and other spices.

Sailor Jerry’s has a a very unique taste. I’m happy to say it’s unlike any other rum I have ever tasted. There’s a light, almost non-existent taste when it first hits your tongue, but maybe a second later, there is a hard hit of spicy caramel rum flavor. And where most high-proof rums give you a high-proof burn, Sailor Jerry’s burn comes along with a boat load of flavor. I couldn’t decide if I was afraid or if I wanted it to last forever. Seeing how I drank the whole bottle…then another, I guess I didn’t want it to end. Don’t get me wrong, there is certainly a burn. When you drink something this strong you have to expect a burn. The difference is this burn is backed by flavor. And when poured over ice, that watered-down taste could cure the worst case of sea sickness. When we start talking about Sailor Jerry’s mixed, I think I need to be Poseidon before I even speak of such an act. To put it simply; I hope the people at Coke are paying the the guys at Sailor Jerry’s for making that stuff taste the way God himself intended. NOTHING should be this good, NOTHING! If you feel differently, you probably worship the devil(there, I said it). Mated with something as simple as Cola, Sailor Jerry will change your life. That 92-proof burn vanished; all you taste is delicious carbonated flavor. There really isn’t a fair way to describe it. All I can say is try it. It’s easy to make, and it is delicious.

Now at 92-proof, there is no question of whether or not it will get you drunk. But if you haven’t gotten your sea legs, I’ll go ahead and tell you yes, it will. If you can drink five shots of Sailor Jerry’s and still walk and talk at the same time, then you are a better man than I. I was gone. It surprised the hell out of me. There wasn’t a single notion that I was getting drunk, but all of the sudden, I realized I couldn’t feel my legs. That might be good on the high seas, but when you are walking through clubs and bars, things get difficult. Hell, I even wanted to go see the original Sailor Jerry in Hawaii and get a tattoo from him. You know you have to be a badass to get a delicious rum named after you.

The hangover was almost as I expected. There was a bit of headache, but I could still go to work and continue to do the stuff I hate. For a 92-proof ass-whooping, I have to say the hangover wasn’t too bad. When compared to the 151 hangovers where the act of crawling becomes a serious task, this one was nothing. There was cotton mouth and a headache, but I still had the ability to eat and keep everything down. For drinking a little more than a third of the bottle, that’s a good thing.

As for price, unless you can’t afford to buy happiness at $23 for a half gallon, then maybe this isn’t for you. But if you can forego buying pizza for a day, buy Sailor Jerry’s now. No really, buy it now! It’s really cheap and damn good. What could you be saving the 23 dollars for? College? Child support? Kid’s food? Abortions? Wait…no, save money for abortions, they make the world a better place. As for everything else, Sailor Jerry’s is more important. Your mom can get her chemo money by some other means. You need this. I need you to have this.

So honestly why are you still sitting here reading and not out buying Sailor Jerry’s rum? It’s the closest most of us will ever get to true happiness. If you aren’t afraid to get a little hair on your chest(this goes for you too, ladies), you need to get a bottle of this rum. There’s nothing else to say. Go buy some Sailor Jerry’s, and you can thank me later.

Sipability – 8.5

July 09 Mixability – 9.0