The Albertson’s Liquor Store Going out of Business Sale

Introduction: 

    Not too long ago, a few of us BoozeBashers managed to take part in the pilaging of a local liquor store’s “going out of business / clearance sale.”  That’s right; we briefly lived the moment that all die hard liquor lovers dream about.  Unfortunately, the spoils could have been much greater and valuable had we reacted sooner, but oh well.  It was fun.  We took the opportunity to serve you all by daring to do something many of you are terrified of; spending money on expensive, widely unknown brands of liquor.  Well, everything was marked down 50%, so it wasn’t too bad.  Enjoy!

Part 1: Roth California Vodka

    Browsing through rows of unknown liquor bottles was quite a stressful experience.  It was like inspecting row upon row of Victoria’s Secret models and only being able to take a few home with you.  Well, we chose to the best of our abilities and broke the one rule our parents told us over and over again.  Never judge a liquor by its bottle.  Roth does come in a nice looking bottle that made me think of a piece of candy.  How could I go wrong?  It has to taste good.  After all, Roth vodka is the self-proclaimed “America’s First Luxury Vodka,” distilled five times to a proof of 80 from premium California grapes, and produced by Beam Wine Estates Inc. 

    I’m proud to say that after several reviews, I can finally join the rest of the BoozeBasher staff and take credit for saving the world from a terrible bottle of liquor.  We had high expectations, and we were let down hard because we purchased not one, but two bottles of this stuff.  After popping the top with lots of excitement, we noticed a scent similar to nail polish remover.  In an instant, hope began to fade, but we remained optimistic about the taste test on the rocks.  Along with hope, optimism was quickly lost at the touch of the pallet.  Have you ever tasted nail polish remover?  I hope not.  Imagine how it might taste, and that’s probably very close to what Roth vodka tastes like on the rocks.  There is a slight sent of flavor right before a sip, but the intense alcohol/nail polish remover taste kills it and adds a bitter aftertaste to kick you while you’re already down.

    Okay, Roth has to get better with a mixer, right?  We generally like to mix vodka with a dash of Sprite, so that’s what we chose.  The bad taste was still there.  The mix took away a little bite, but the nail polish taste and bitter aftertaste were still present.  It might just take something strong like bloody marry mix to cover the taste, but for a high dollar vodka such as this, that idea is ludacris.  A good vodka should be sipable on the rocks.  A moderate vodka is sipable when lightly mixed.  Roth vodka is neither.  I guess we are going to have to find something to do with these two bottles.  Maybe we can take them to a party and just leave them.  I already tried pouring Roth shots for friends during a football game.  I haven’t heard from them since.  If you want to piss your friends off, pour them a shot of Roth vodka.  The sour faces are priceless!

    This is the part I was dreading to write since I actually had to get drunk of the stuff.  I prepared plenty of water and pain killers for the aftermath.  Here it goes.  Once I finally got around to it, I manned up and took on the wrath of the Roth.  During the Auburn vs Vandy and OSU vs Wisconsin games, I managed to choke down four vodka and 7up drinks.  The first two were absolutely horrible, but into the third I suppose the alcohol was dulling my senses.  The last ones went down a bit better.  When it was all said and done, I had a nasty taste in my mouth, but I was borderline drunk.  Overall, it was a tame night, staying out of the bars and not mixing any other alcohol with the Roth.  Judging from the smell and taste of Roth, I was fearing the worst if I continued past four drinks.  Before bed, I took all the precautions by drinking plenty of water.  The next morning was nothing out of the ordinary.  I woke up alone with mild dehydration although I imagine it would have been severe if I drank much more.  How typical.  I must say I was glad to have the Roth behind me.  Now the only issue that remains is what to do with the rest of the bottle.

    That is the happy ending of part 1.  I hope the remaining parts turn out better.  For those of you who actually like this stuff, please feel free to comment or suggest ways to make it taste better.  After all, we might be stuck with these two bottles for awhile.  We’d really like to hear from the ones who actually paid the $40 or so for a 750ml bottle of this stuff.  For the rest of you who may decide to try if for yourself, good luck!

Sipability - 4.0

Mixability - 5.0

Drunkability - 6.0

Hangover-ability - 5.0

Bang for the Buck - 1.0

Overall -  5.0 

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    This isn’t new news, but North Carolina has banned the inhalation of alcohol fumes for the purpose of achieving drunkenness.  That’s right folks, scientists in the U.K. invented a vaporizer that turns liquid alcohol into a vapor that can be inhaled, causing a quicker drunk than drinking can.  I myself enjoy imbibing the liquid form of what I only assume is the closest thing to any “heaven” that either I or any bible thumper may achieve.  The machine is called A.W.O.L (alcohol without liquid).  The benefits of inhaling, rather than drinking, alcohol are a reduction of calories and lack of a hangover because you will not get dehydrated…sounds like a good deal to me.  Inhaling the alcohol will get you drunk faster, not make you any fatter than you already are, and won’t leave you with a messy hangover, though you may still puke all over your toilet…or the bar parking lot, your friends car, an unsuspecting hottie at the bar…whatever.

    The Reverend Mark Creech, executive director of the Christian Action League of North Carolina, credits himself with the ban.  The “good” reverend was quoted, “Imagine what would happen if users could fast track the mind-altering effects of alcohol and, at the same time, sidestep the hangover.  That’s exactly the appeal of AWOL.  It is not complimentary of the great State of North Carolina that this new scourge for alcohol abuse is being marketed from within our own borders.”  So any of you readers out there in North Carolina can thank him for your hangover after a night of happy drinking.

    For those interested, A.W.O.L is still available in most non-religious nut job states and can be purchased here.  I personally like drinking my booze, but a quick fix would be a nice way to start the evening.  Zero to drunk in half a second…that sounds like the beer bong reinvented.  I am all for it, anyone wanna go in on a machine with me?

Thanks to Reason Magazine for the information which was provided in written format originally on June 21, 2007 by Jacob Sollum.  

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    We BoozeBashers are always on the lookout for good spirits that are easy on the wallet,  so  I dug deeply into my alcohol-depleted memory banks and recalled a delicious vodka I had once consumed while on a road trip to Chicago with college buddies.  I remember stumbling across a half-gallon of vodka called Sobieski in Bobak’s Sausage Company (a Polish grocery store) that was on sale for $15.  I was elated to find any kind of liquor in a grocery store and even more excited to find this brand for such an affordable price.  I was later blown away by the taste of Sobieski that night.  After coming all the way home, I was shocked at how difficult it was to find this vodka.  A few years later, I found myself back in Chicago on business, and I was determined to get back to Bobak’s to get my hands on more Sobieski.  Unfortunately, my journey there failed to produce this vodka.  The trek from my Hilton Suite to Bobak’s began with a naked man on my elevator ride down and ended on a subway train around midnight when a particularly scary man progressed from talking to himself to random groans and eerie looks in my direction.  I decided to turn back before the train made it to my ultimate destination.  I thought I might never see Sobieski again, but to my delight, I noticed it beaming back at me one day from a shelf in a local liquor store!  I was a relatively inexperienced drinker the last time I consumed Sobieski, and wondered if  would I still like it?  How would it fare in a BoozeBasher tasting?  Read on to see.
 
    Sobieski is a Polish vodka named after King Jan III Sobieski and is actually owned by the Belvedere Company of France.  Poland claims to be the birthplace of vodka though the true origin of the spirit is debated.  The people at Sobieski renounce gimmicky trends like making vodka from grapes or distilling it many extra times.  Sobieski is made from Dankowski rye that is harvested from the Mazowse fields of Poland, and water from the Oligocene springs is used to create “one of the smoothest and purest vodkas in the world.”  That certainly sounds appealing to me.

    Sobieski smells and tastes like vodka should.  The scent yields a subtle alcohol smell with no noticeable fruity or sweet bouquets.  Similarly, the taste over ice doesn’t bring any cheap thrills.  There is nothing at all fancy about Sobieski’s flavor.  There is really no noticeable infused taste, but the grain gives a subtle yet deep and almost dark flavor to the vodka.  The incredible smoothness of the vodka almost entirely hides this taste until the exhale after sipping.  There is really no burn at all.  Sobieski finishes dry and succinctly.  It is fantastic!  I have tasted many “ultra-premium” vodkas, but Sobieski ranks among the tops for smoothness and pure enjoyability.  This vodka is so smooth and easy to drink on the rocks that it could prove dangerous in the wrong hands.  Drinking Sobieski with a little Sprite is equally enjoyable.  Although it lacks serious flavor to compliment the soda, it blends almost completely away.  If you concentrate, you can still pick up on a little bit of the grain taste, and you will still notice the dry finish.  Sobieski is the perfect vodka to slip extra booze in the drink of someone who *gasp* doesn’t like the taste of alcohol.  When mixed, this spirit goes from dangerous to deadly.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. Naked Elevator Man pounded down a dozen of these drinks.  It would be frighteningly easy to do, and it might just make you comfortable with walking around naked in public.

    After drinking a good bit of Sobieski, I relished a state of noticeable drunkenness.  It was a functioning yet carefree state that was quite pleasurable.  It brought with the drunk a little kick of energy that would make this a great beverage to start a big night out on the town.  Just be careful not to lose count unless you don’t care to remain clothed.  The next morning wasn’t incredibly friendly.  I had noticeable cotton mouth, and my head was pounding in a very unkind fashion.  Sobieski is a spirit that should be consumed in excess primarily on the weekends.  I don’t think I would have enjoyed working too much after a night with this stuff.  

    You can get your hands on a 750ml bottle of Sobieski for around $12 or so, making it an utter steal.  It mixes extremely well, and the smooth drinking experience rivals that of vodka that costs more than double the price.  You shouldn’t have too much trouble finding a bottle anymore now that they have expanded their US market a bit.  If you are like me and enjoy the taste of good vodka, buy a couple bottles and simply enjoy every drop neat or over ice.  You will be hard-pressed to find any vodka this good anywhere near its price range.

Sipability - 7.5

Mixability - 7.5

Drunkability - 8.0

Hangover-ability - 6.0

Bang for the Buck - 10.0

Overall -  7.5   

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