Many of you have pointed out in your emails to us that we really haven’t reviewed any Irish whiskey.  Bushmills is a good place to start because it’s likely one of the first brands to come to mind when asked to name an Irish whiskey.  Although none of the crew was too experienced in Irish whiskey, we were all anxious to give it a try.  The Irish are known for hot chicks, cloudy days, little dudes guarding pots of gold, and their drinking.  As awesome as all the other things sound, drinking is really our job here, so let’s get to business.   

    Bushmills is actually the name of a very small town of about 1,300 inhabitants on the north coast of County Antrim, Northern Ireland.  It is home to the Old Bushmills Distillery.  Founded in 1608, it is the oldest liscenced distillery in the world, and hosts about 110,000 visitors each year.  Bushmills Original (I’ll just call it Bushmills for short) is the cornerstone of its whiskey range.  It’s a blend of triple distilled malt whiskey with a lighter Irish grain whiskey.  It is a common misconception that this triple distillation is what separates Scotch whiskey from Irish whisky, but that is not so.  Most Irish whiskeys are produced from a mash of malted and unmalted grain.  Scotch is either distilled exclusively from malted grain or from unmalted grain and then mixed with malt whiskey to create “blended whisky.”  Irish whiskey also differs in that peat is almost never used in the malting process, so most Irish whiskey lacks the earthy or smokey taste that is associated with some (particularly Islay) Scotch whiskey.  Bushmills is one of the few exceptions in the industry in that they do not use a pot-still whiskey in their blend.  The result is a spirit with a warming taste of fruit and hints of vanilla.   

    Sipping Bushmills on the rocks brings a pleasant introduction into the world of Irish whiskey.  The aroma is very light for a whiskey, with hints of spice and vanilla.  When taking the first slurp, the whiskey coats your mouth slowly and thoroughly.  The texture is somewhat thick and almost honey-like.  It gently warms the palate with a touch of sweet fruitiness and finishes with a crisp spiciness.  The finish is not dry but rather warmning.  Bushmills is a very smooth whiskey to sip on ice.  I was very impressed.  Some more experienced whiskey drinkers may find it a little on the bland side because it lacks exciting complexity, but the smoothness and sweetness of the spirit makes up for any lack of complexity in my book.  The bottle claims a “smooth & mellow” taste, and I would have to agree.  Bushmills is truly a pleasure to ingest over ice or with a splash of cold water and really comes at a good price point of around $25.

    Although consuming this spirit on ice was pleasantly rewarding, Bushmills stumbles a bit when mixed with Coke.  It’s far from bad…in fact, some might find it rather enjoyable.  We just felt that Coke took away some of the good qualities of the drink.  It wasn’t much of a compliment to the liquor.  The really interesting texture and warming sensation are both all but erased, but the beverage still goes down smoothly.  The Coke gives Bushmills a sour taste and a bitter finish that lingers a bit too long.  Some people may enjoy it, but I was not that impressed.  I would rather consume Bushmills on the rocks anyday.   

    Guzzling Bushmills in quantity rocked!  After a couple shots worth, I felt a little light-headed and groggy, yet energized.  It’s like I was smacked in the face by a drunken leprechaun.  I wasn’t punch-drunk or anything, but I was shaken and alert.  After a few drinks of Bushmills, any bite you may notice in its taste vanishes, but some flavor is lost as well.  The only thing I could really notice after a few of these was the warming sensation and the sharp, spicy finish.  That’s dangerous for an alcoholic.  This stuff could be consumed in mass quantities rather easily.  I’m beginning to understand why the Irish have such a reputation as booze-hounds.  The buzz with Bushmills is a good “I don’t give a damn” buzz.  I think I could even be convinced to sing one of those stupid Irish drinking songs after a number of these.  Hell, I might even be ready to kick some leprechaun ass!  There is a long, glorious period of buzz before the drunk hits.  The buzz is wonderful and carefree, but the little leprechaun packs a pretty hefty punch in the end.  After being smacked enough times, I bet even Tyson would go down without even having time to take a nibble on those deliciously-pointy ears.   Leprechauns have pointy ears, right?  I think so.  Either way, it was still a good time.

    After a night of fun fighting that creepy little leprechaun, I was expecting the worst from the hangover fairy.  After waking somewhat late, I was confronted with some dehydration and a SERIOUS headache.  Strangely enough, the headache and the dehydration both vanished mysteriously while in the shower.  I take fast showers too, so color me impressed.  With ample sleep after drinking Bushmills, the hangover shouldn’t be too painful. 

    All in all, I would give Bushmills kudos for treating us to a delightful irish delight.  I have recently begun to order straight shots of it at the bar (try it chilled if you are too sissy for it straight), and it really gives me that little kick I need early in the evening.  Although it lacks the complexity of many good American and Scotch whiskeys, the smooth drinkability and respectable price make Bushmills a must-try for any drinker.    

Sipability - 7.5

Mixability - 6.0

Drunkability - 8.0

Hangover-ability - 8.0

Bang for the Buck -  9.0

Overall -  7.5     

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    Imagine a tall, Russian brunette with long legs, a tight yet curvy body, heavy accent, educated, athletic, and a sexual appetite more vicious than a rabid pitbull.  Then come back to reality and have a tall drink of Russian vodka.  That’s right; for most of us unfortunate souls, the vodka is about the only thing in common we will ever experience with those Russian beauties.  Life is so unfair; oh well, let’s have another drink!  Today we are going to discuss Stolichnaya Russian vodka, then Russian women, and then Russian women again.  I must confess, I do love them both.  Russia is such a large country that is possesses a buffet of all kinds of vodkas and women.  Delicious!  Okay, back to business. 

    Here are some facts about our new Russian moja devushka (girl friend).  The main ingredients of Stolichnaya vodka are some of the world’s finest wheat grains and artesian water from the Russian region of Kaliningrad.  After 60 hours of fermentation, the result is distilled four times and slightly diluted to a proof of 80 using extra artesian water.  After filtering several times, the final product is ready to be bottled.  By the way, the Russian word Stolichnaya translates to the word “capital,” and the building in the background of the label is the Hotel Moskva.  Stalin actually stayed there once.  Not that anyone gives a crap.  Personally, I think they should have put a hot Russian female on the label instead…one that is very lightly clothed and carrying a Kalashnikov.  Now that’s a hot-selling vodka even if it tastes like govno (shit)!  Okay, let’s see if this mail-order bride is worth keeping.  Is she total suka (bitch) that marries you for a green card and takes you for all you have, or is she a genuine keeper that might actually pay for dinner once and awhile?

    Since some of us BoozeBashers are still haunted by horrible vodkas in our past, it’s common that we take several scent samples before tasting, always wary of the dreaded smell.  We were spared this time.  Even good vodkas can have a strong alcohol smell, but Stolichnaya actually has a very pleasant floral and sweet scent to it.  Upon contact with the palet, there is a taste very similar to that of the scent, but a sour alcohol taste follows quickly.  The taste doesn’t linger too long though.  Unfortunately, there were no fireworks with Stolichnaya, but we have experienced much worse.  The overall consensus was that she was very average naked.  Now to dress her up a bit, we added a splash of Sprite.  This eased the sourness and made it a little above average as far as taste.  Stoli and Sprite is actually a decent drink that gets better and better as the taste buds become more willing.  Sort of like when you see her for the first time and she’s average; then a few hours/drinks later she’s looking great.  Yeah, you know the drill all too well.  Well, this Russian broad is a bit better when dressed.  That’s not always a good thing, but I get to take her out to see what she’s really like.

    If I can remember correctly, I believe I had up to eight drinks, each loaded with over a shot of Stolichnaya.  The first three were on the rocks, two topped with Sprite, and the remaining drinks were topped with Red Bull. It was definitely not my favorite mix, but it worked pretty well to give me the energy boost I desperately needed.  The resulting drunk was pretty good, and I was pinging off the wall from the caffeine.  Although it was probably only a can’s worth of Red Bull, it kept me from getting too drunk.  That was a good thing because Stoli wanted to see some adult entertainment at the local gent’s club.  She’s such a bad girl!  After lots of fun, it was time to call it quits around 2am.  I followed the standard procedure of drinking a tall glass of water and leaving a refill next to my bed, only to have my cat knock it over in the middle of the night.  To my astonishment, I woke up around 8am feeling pretty decent.  Typically, vodka can do some damage to me.  Perhaps it was the Red Bull; I don’t know.  Whatever it was, I was grateful.

    To sum things up, Stoli is not the type of girl who just wants a green card.  She is more like the lesser-attractive type that will treat you decently.  Unfortunately, you won’t be happy with her for long.  You will always be on the prowl for a replacement.  That is, if you have good vodka taste.  Stolichnaya averages around $24 for a 750mL.  That is a bit pricey when there are others out there such as Sobieski.  That being said, I do believe I will dump her when I’m done using her, and if I run into her drunk in a bar, I might get some more if there are no alternatives.

Sipability - 5.5

Mixability - 6.0

Drunkability - 7.5

Hangover-ability - 8.0

Bang for the Buck -  6.0

Overall -  6.5   

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    Tis the season.  That’s a perfect excuse to spend a little extra cash to get a really good bottle of liquor.  How about a bottle of Gentlemen Jack Daniel’s?  No, don’t buy this as a gift to a friend.  Friends don’t deserve this, only you do.  If you have not met Gentleman Jack, you are truly missing out on one of the best sipping whiskeys around.  I have enjoyed several bottles of this stuff in the past, and I was quite excited for BoozeBasher to review it.  It couldn’t have happened at a better time.  It’s the holidays!  Yeah, that means there is lots of traffic and tons of people in my way shopping.  Here’s my idea of Christmas shopping: wait ’til the last minute, fill up the flask with Gentleman Jack, pick up a few gift cards, then head straight to the bar to catch the bowl games.  Okay, enough about that.  Let’s get familiar with our new friend.

    Gentleman Jack whiskey is distilled at the good ole Jack Daniel’s Distillery located in Lynchburg, Tennessee.  What sets Jack Daniel’s Whiskey apart from the rest is that it is mellowed through ten feet of sugar maple charcoal.  This process refines the whiskey’s flavor to that great taste Jack Daniel’s fans love.  The maturing process takes place in barrels that are actually hand-crafted by the Jack Daniel’s Distillery.  Inside these toasted oak barrels, the whiskey draws its distinctive flavor, finish, and rich amber color from the barrel walls.  In the case of Gentleman Jack, it gets even better.  The Gentleman goes through the mellowing process twice, making it the world’s only “twice mellowed” whiskey.

    Let us put this “Rare Tennessee Whiskey” to the test with our BoozeBasher panel of drinkers.  The “on the rocks” test yielded a kick-ass beverage that has few rivals.  That’s right!  It’s that good. Gentlemen Jack takes smoothness to an all new level.  Just imagine old No. 7 but super-smooth with the same good charcoal wood flavor and a touch of fruit and sweetness.  For the next test, a splash of Coke was added. Unfortunately, Jack and Coke doesn’t quite equal Gentleman Jack and Coke.  The BoozeBasher panel agreed that Coke actually took the great smooth taste of the whiskey and tainted it with a slight sourness.  This stuff was ment to sip straight.

    Now for the infamous drunkability test; this one was going to be extra fun because it happenned to be my birthday.  The pours of Gentlemen were heavy, averaging around two plus shots per drink.  After enjoying several, I felt soothed and mellow.  This stuff is really great to sip.  I just sat back and relaxed while everyone else made the terrible mistake of playing that shot game.  You can read the rules of Hunter and Wade’s shot game here on our forum.  Anyway, throughout the night, the Gentlemen drunk was severely tainted by many other types of liquors, but the hangover was not too bad at all.  Gentlemen Jack will hurt you just like old No. 7, but it’s not any stronger.  If caution is exercised, then the lucky drinker should feel fine the next day.

    Gentlemen Jack was a pretty big hit with the BoozeBasher staff.  It will most likely be a part of our liquor stash from time to time.  A 750ml example will set you back about $35.  Yes, it is a bit pricey, but the holidays are upon us…so why not treat yourself or a special someone?  Just keep in mind, it tastes great, and it will disappear fast.  Since your friends will probably come over and drink it all anyway, they don’t deserve it for Christmas!  Have a safe and happy holidays everyone!

Sipability - 8.5

Mixability - 5.5

Drunkability - 8.0

Hangover-ability - 6.0

Bang for the Buck -  6.0

Overall -  7.0   

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