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Liquor Review: Everclear 151

Published on October 1st, 2007 in Grain by Wade

Hell's Fuel First, a little warning: don’t bother drinking grain alcohol or even reading this review unless you are a serious alcoholic or certifiably crazy and need to try something new to share with your friends. Chances are, you won’t remember much about the night before, but your body will be quick to remind you. Everclear grain alcohol is not for the causal drinker. Hell, it’s not for the average drunk. This stuff should be used as a one-time experiment amongst friends. Also, you may want to have a camera handy because you’ll lose your memory right before you lose your pants.

The taste of Everclear isn’t some kind of great vanilla, rose petal, or berry flavor. It’s not infused with a mythical lime. Heck, there isn’t even a woody barrel taste coming with this one. This liquor just tates like a mix of alcohol, lowered inhibitions, and the low standards to match. What I’m trying to say here is, Everclear, by itself, tastes horrible. I don’t recommend drinking it by itself for any reason. I do know when it’s lit, the flame burns blue with green tips. I’m starting to wonder if I should be drinking Everclear at all. Yeah…I should.

Like I said, solo drinking this stuff is right out. The only way to drink, what I will from here on call hell’s fuel, is mixed. But this is where things get scary and can get out of hand fast. Mixed with something as simple as orange juice, the taste of Everclear is nearly gone. And now you’re in a kind of “yin and yang” situation. You can’t taste how much of your new hellish friend is lurking in your cup, but it takes very little to make it your worst enemy. It’s like the hot, questionable girl at the party begging you to take her home. It’s going to be fun, but you just know you’re going to end up without your pants and a burning feeling in your throat. My question to you is, how bad do you want it?

A liquor shouldn’t be this sneaky, especially a 151-proof one. Hell’s fuel will get you drunk quick, fast and in a hurry. There will be nothing else that does the job Everclear can do. Not only does this drunk come fast, you won’t even remember it (this is where you want to start your camera). So you know it has to come with a hell of a price. And its not a cheap one.

Can you take a guess at what it costs to drink something that can get you from sober to drunk in 60 seconds? The worst hangover money can buy. The next morning I was lucky to keep water down. In the words of Charlie Murphy, “Yo, my head is bumping!” The Everclear hangover will make you call in sick to work or whatever else you may have to do the next day. Walking even becomes a painful and mighty feat. Just keep the toilet or trashcan near. You’ll need it.

$15 (at your local liquor store) for a magical liquor that will get you drunk and erases memories in mere minutes makes this a cheap, fun party expense. But don’t bother buying many bottles. You won’t need much more than one. Half a bottle will get you drunk, naked, and hungover in no-time. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

If you are out to find that story where you can say, “This one time I got so wasted…etc,” then try this for a night. If you’re out just to find something new to drink for the weekend, stay far away from this one. This is a fun trip, but it will lead to a hell of a fall. Just remember to keep your clothes on a leash, and be sure send us the pictures of your wild night out with Everclear.

Shootability – 1.5

Mixability – 6.5

Drunkability – 10.0

Hangover-ability – 2.0

Bang for the Buck – 7.0

Overall – 5.0