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Liquor Review: Svedka

Published on February 20th, 2008 in Vodka by Wade

Svedka Vodka I have drunk a lot of liquor throughout my drinking career, and I have to admit, I have never consumed a vodka quite as cocky as Svedka. Svedka claims to be voted the number one vodka of 2033. Yes, that’s right, 2033. They are so sure of this that their whole website is designed around that whole premise. Personally, I found the theme annoying; it got old fast. However, I’m not here to review websites; I’m here to review booze.

By combining a centuries-old Swedish vodka recipe with tomorrow’s distillation technology, the people at Svedka have created the unparalleled taste of Svedka. To make one bottle, they meticulously distill over three pounds of high quality Swedish wheat for over 40 hours in their innovative five-column process. Then it is blended with the finest spring water to give Svedka a clean, crisp taste. They must have a lot of faith in their liquor making process if they claim it will still be around in 2033. Its kind of sad to think that it will probably outlast my liver.

Being five times distilled and 80-proof, Svedka should be well on its way to getting my approval. However, the straight taste is rather harsh. It tastes like water with the sting and smell of alcohol. The strength of the alcohol is all you will be able to notice. Well, that and the burning in your mouth that tells you your taste buds are clocking out and going home for the remainder of the night. Funny, after three shots, you don’t taste the burn or anything. We will put a check mark in “good things” column for that attribute. When mixed, it’s pretty much the same as other cheap vodka like Burnett’s. Svedka mixes almost too well. It’s hard to control your drunk if you don’t know how drunk you are actually getting. I guess low-priced vodka is the roofie of the liquor world.

As I stated before, Svedka is 80-proof and is sneakier than a ninja covered in Pam cooking spray. I could barely taste its alcohol flavoring. Svedka possesses all the tools needed to give you a wonderfully-sneaky drunk, and it actually gets the job done at a pretty reasonable rate. I was singing the praises of my new-found friend of the year 2033 by the end of the night. I think I saw that little robot girl from their ads. Svedka girl She was nice, but a bit of a whore and stuck on herself. As for my hangover the next morning, it wasn’t the worst. I had a weak headache and some cotton mouth, but Svedka had an extra bonus for me in memory loss. I could only remember the beginning of the night. I will just have to find out about anything that happened later in the evening when it pops up on the Internet.

I happened to find buy a bottle of Svedka for a crazy-low price. I paid $18 for 1.75 liters, but you can find the 750ml bottle online for $14. That’s a good price for a liquor that should be able to get you drunk without being too hard on you in the morning. Besides, this is the best liquor in 2033. It’s a fact. Look at the little sign on the bottle. Signs don’t lie.

Sipability – 7.0

Mixability – 7.0

Drunkability – 8.0

Hangover-ability – 6.5

Bang for the Buck – 9.5

Overall – 7.0