I want to start this review off with one question, how have I been living my life without this rum?  Sailor Jerry spiced rum is the kick in the ass that every rum drinker needs to get out of the boring rum cycle that many of us have come to know.  Sailor Jerry is here to make companies like Bacardi and Captain Morgan up their rum game.  Who says change is a bad thing?  This affordable, flavorful, 92-proof beauty of a rum shouldn’t be overlooked.

     After five years of selling shirts, jackets, socks, and ash trays, the people of Sailor Jerry felt something was missing.  That something was booze, so they decided to make their own.  They knew the booze they made would have to be consistent with the bold spirit and high standards of the tattooist, Sailor Jerry.  One of the few ways to see the world in the old days was being a sailor.  The downside was it took a heck of a long time to get to see these places around the world.  That meant lots of hours aboard a ship in the middle of the ocean with no women and no bars.  But one thing they did have on board was rum…barrels of it.  They also had loads of spices, dried fruits, and other items that the ships transported, so sailors got creative and came up with their own special recipes of spiced rum.  After collecting old recipes and late nights of taste testing, the fine people of Sailor Jerry developed Sailor Jerry spiced rum, a 92-proof blend of Caribbean-style rum with vanilla, lime, and other spices.

     Sailor Jerry’s has a a very unique taste.  I’m happy to say it’s unlike any other rum I have ever tasted.  There’s a light, almost non-existent taste when it first hits your tongue, but maybe a second later, there is a hard hit of spicy caramel rum flavor.  And where most high-proof rums give you a high-proof burn, Sailor Jerry’s burn comes along with a boat load of flavor.  I couldn’t decide if I was afraid or if I wanted it to last forever.  Seeing how I drank the whole bottle…then another, I guess I didn’t want it to end.  Don’t get me wrong, there is certainly a burn.  When you drink something this strong you have to expect a burn.  The difference is this burn is backed by flavor.  And when poured over ice, that watered-down taste could cure the worst case of sea sickness.  When we start talking about Sailor Jerry’s mixed, I think I need to be Poseidon before I even speak of such an act.  To put it simply; I hope the people at Coke are paying the the guys at Sailor Jerry’s for making that stuff taste the way God himself intended.  NOTHING should be this good, NOTHING!  If you feel differently, you probably worship the devil(there, I said it).  Mated with something as simple as Cola, Sailor Jerry will change your life.  That 92-proof burn vanished; all you taste is delicious carbonated flavor.  There really isn’t a fair way to describe it.  All I can say is try it.  It’s easy to make, and it is delicious.

     Now at 92-proof, there is no question of whether or not it will get you drunk.  But if you haven’t gotten your sea legs, I’ll go ahead and tell you yes, it will.  If you can drink five shots of Sailor Jerry’s and still walk and talk at the same time, then you are a better man than I.  I was gone.  It surprised the hell out of me.  There wasn’t a single notion that I was getting drunk, but all of the sudden, I realized I couldn’t feel my legs.  That might be good on the high seas, but when you are walking through clubs and bars, things get difficult.  Hell, I even wanted to go see the original Sailor Jerry in Hawaii and get a tattoo from him.  You know you have to be a badass to get a delicious rum named after you.

     The hangover was almost as I expected.  There was a bit of headache, but I could still go to work and continue to do the stuff I hate.  For a 92-proof ass-whooping, I have to say the hangover wasn’t too bad.  When compared to the 151 hangovers where the act of crawling becomes a serious task, this one was nothing.  There was cotton mouth and a headache, but I still had the ability to eat and keep everything down.  For drinking a little more than a third of the bottle, that’s a good thing.

     As for price, unless you can’t afford to buy happiness at $23 for a half gallon, then maybe this isn’t for you.  But if you can forego buying pizza for a day, buy Sailor Jerry’s now.  No really, buy it now!  It’s really cheap and damn good.  What could you be saving the 23 dollars for?  College?  Child support?  Kid’s food? Abortions?  Wait…no, save money for abortions, they make the world a better place.  As for everything else, Sailor Jerry’s is more important.  Your mom can get her chemo money by some other means.  You need this.  I need you to have this.

     So honestly why are you still sitting here reading and not out buying Sailor Jerry’s rum?  It’s the closest most of us will ever get to true happiness.  If you aren’t afraid  to get a little hair on your chest(this goes for you too, ladies), you need to get a bottle of this rum.  There’s nothing else to say.  Go buy some Sailor Jerry’s, and you can thank me later.

Sipability – 8.5

Mixability – 9.0

Drunkability – 9.0

Hangover-ability – 6.0

Bang for the Buck - 9.0

Overall - 8.5  

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    Many of you have pointed out in your emails to us that we really haven’t reviewed any Irish whiskey.  Bushmills is a good place to start because it’s likely one of the first brands to come to mind when asked to name an Irish whiskey.  Although none of the crew was too experienced in Irish whiskey, we were all anxious to give it a try.  The Irish are known for hot chicks, cloudy days, little dudes guarding pots of gold, and their drinking.  As awesome as all the other things sound, drinking is really our job here, so let’s get to business.   

    Bushmills is actually the name of a very small town of about 1,300 inhabitants on the north coast of County Antrim, Northern Ireland.  It is home to the Old Bushmills Distillery.  Founded in 1608, it is the oldest liscenced distillery in the world, and hosts about 110,000 visitors each year.  Bushmills Original (I’ll just call it Bushmills for short) is the cornerstone of its whiskey range.  It’s a blend of triple distilled malt whiskey with a lighter Irish grain whiskey.  It is a common misconception that this triple distillation is what separates Scotch whiskey from Irish whisky, but that is not so.  Most Irish whiskeys are produced from a mash of malted and unmalted grain.  Scotch is either distilled exclusively from malted grain or from unmalted grain and then mixed with malt whiskey to create “blended whisky.”  Irish whiskey also differs in that peat is almost never used in the malting process, so most Irish whiskey lacks the earthy or smokey taste that is associated with some (particularly Islay) Scotch whiskey.  Bushmills is one of the few exceptions in the industry in that they do not use a pot-still whiskey in their blend.  The result is a spirit with a warming taste of fruit and hints of vanilla.   

    Sipping Bushmills on the rocks brings a pleasant introduction into the world of Irish whiskey.  The aroma is very light for a whiskey, with hints of spice and vanilla.  When taking the first slurp, the whiskey coats your mouth slowly and thoroughly.  The texture is somewhat thick and almost honey-like.  It gently warms the palate with a touch of sweet fruitiness and finishes with a crisp spiciness.  The finish is not dry but rather warmning.  Bushmills is a very smooth whiskey to sip on ice.  I was very impressed.  Some more experienced whiskey drinkers may find it a little on the bland side because it lacks exciting complexity, but the smoothness and sweetness of the spirit makes up for any lack of complexity in my book.  The bottle claims a “smooth & mellow” taste, and I would have to agree.  Bushmills is truly a pleasure to ingest over ice or with a splash of cold water and really comes at a good price point of around $25.

    Although consuming this spirit on ice was pleasantly rewarding, Bushmills stumbles a bit when mixed with Coke.  It’s far from bad…in fact, some might find it rather enjoyable.  We just felt that Coke took away some of the good qualities of the drink.  It wasn’t much of a compliment to the liquor.  The really interesting texture and warming sensation are both all but erased, but the beverage still goes down smoothly.  The Coke gives Bushmills a sour taste and a bitter finish that lingers a bit too long.  Some people may enjoy it, but I was not that impressed.  I would rather consume Bushmills on the rocks anyday.   

    Guzzling Bushmills in quantity rocked!  After a couple shots worth, I felt a little light-headed and groggy, yet energized.  It’s like I was smacked in the face by a drunken leprechaun.  I wasn’t punch-drunk or anything, but I was shaken and alert.  After a few drinks of Bushmills, any bite you may notice in its taste vanishes, but some flavor is lost as well.  The only thing I could really notice after a few of these was the warming sensation and the sharp, spicy finish.  That’s dangerous for an alcoholic.  This stuff could be consumed in mass quantities rather easily.  I’m beginning to understand why the Irish have such a reputation as booze-hounds.  The buzz with Bushmills is a good “I don’t give a damn” buzz.  I think I could even be convinced to sing one of those stupid Irish drinking songs after a number of these.  Hell, I might even be ready to kick some leprechaun ass!  There is a long, glorious period of buzz before the drunk hits.  The buzz is wonderful and carefree, but the little leprechaun packs a pretty hefty punch in the end.  After being smacked enough times, I bet even Tyson would go down without even having time to take a nibble on those deliciously-pointy ears.   Leprechauns have pointy ears, right?  I think so.  Either way, it was still a good time.

    After a night of fun fighting that creepy little leprechaun, I was expecting the worst from the hangover fairy.  After waking somewhat late, I was confronted with some dehydration and a SERIOUS headache.  Strangely enough, the headache and the dehydration both vanished mysteriously while in the shower.  I take fast showers too, so color me impressed.  With ample sleep after drinking Bushmills, the hangover shouldn’t be too painful. 

    All in all, I would give Bushmills kudos for treating us to a delightful irish delight.  I have recently begun to order straight shots of it at the bar (try it chilled if you are too sissy for it straight), and it really gives me that little kick I need early in the evening.  Although it lacks the complexity of many good American and Scotch whiskeys, the smooth drinkability and respectable price make Bushmills a must-try for any drinker.    

Sipability – 7.5

Mixability – 6.0

Drunkability – 8.0

Hangover-ability – 8.0

Bang for the Buck -  9.0

Overall -  7.5     

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    Tis the season.  That’s a perfect excuse to spend a little extra cash to get a really good bottle of liquor.  How about a bottle of Gentlemen Jack Daniel’s?  No, don’t buy this as a gift to a friend.  Friends don’t deserve this, only you do.  If you have not met Gentleman Jack, you are truly missing out on one of the best sipping whiskeys around.  I have enjoyed several bottles of this stuff in the past, and I was quite excited for BoozeBasher to review it.  It couldn’t have happened at a better time.  It’s the holidays!  Yeah, that means there is lots of traffic and tons of people in my way shopping.  Here’s my idea of Christmas shopping: wait ’til the last minute, fill up the flask with Gentleman Jack, pick up a few gift cards, then head straight to the bar to catch the bowl games.  Okay, enough about that.  Let’s get familiar with our new friend.

    Gentleman Jack whiskey is distilled at the good ole Jack Daniel’s Distillery located in Lynchburg, Tennessee.  What sets Jack Daniel’s Whiskey apart from the rest is that it is mellowed through ten feet of sugar maple charcoal.  This process refines the whiskey’s flavor to that great taste Jack Daniel’s fans love.  The maturing process takes place in barrels that are actually hand-crafted by the Jack Daniel’s Distillery.  Inside these toasted oak barrels, the whiskey draws its distinctive flavor, finish, and rich amber color from the barrel walls.  In the case of Gentleman Jack, it gets even better.  The Gentleman goes through the mellowing process twice, making it the world’s only “twice mellowed” whiskey.

    Let us put this “Rare Tennessee Whiskey” to the test with our BoozeBasher panel of drinkers.  The “on the rocks” test yielded a kick-ass beverage that has few rivals.  That’s right!  It’s that good. Gentlemen Jack takes smoothness to an all new level.  Just imagine old No. 7 but super-smooth with the same good charcoal wood flavor and a touch of fruit and sweetness.  For the next test, a splash of Coke was added. Unfortunately, Jack and Coke doesn’t quite equal Gentleman Jack and Coke.  The BoozeBasher panel agreed that Coke actually took the great smooth taste of the whiskey and tainted it with a slight sourness.  This stuff was ment to sip straight.

    Now for the infamous drunkability test; this one was going to be extra fun because it happenned to be my birthday.  The pours of Gentlemen were heavy, averaging around two plus shots per drink.  After enjoying several, I felt soothed and mellow.  This stuff is really great to sip.  I just sat back and relaxed while everyone else made the terrible mistake of playing that shot game.  You can read the rules of Hunter and Wade’s shot game here on our forum.  Anyway, throughout the night, the Gentlemen drunk was severely tainted by many other types of liquors, but the hangover was not too bad at all.  Gentlemen Jack will hurt you just like old No. 7, but it’s not any stronger.  If caution is exercised, then the lucky drinker should feel fine the next day.

    Gentlemen Jack was a pretty big hit with the BoozeBasher staff.  It will most likely be a part of our liquor stash from time to time.  A 750ml example will set you back about $35.  Yes, it is a bit pricey, but the holidays are upon us…so why not treat yourself or a special someone?  Just keep in mind, it tastes great, and it will disappear fast.  Since your friends will probably come over and drink it all anyway, they don’t deserve it for Christmas!  Have a safe and happy holidays everyone!

Sipability – 8.5

Mixability – 5.5

Drunkability – 8.0

Hangover-ability – 6.0

Bang for the Buck -  6.0

Overall -  7.0   

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