Imagine a tall, Russian brunette with long legs, a tight yet curvy body, heavy accent, educated, athletic, and a sexual appetite more vicious than a rabid pitbull. Then come back to reality and have a tall drink of Russian vodka. That’s right; for most of us unfortunate souls, the vodka is about the only thing in common we will ever experience with those Russian beauties. Life is so unfair; oh well, let’s have another drink! Today we are going to discuss Stolichnaya Russian vodka, then Russian women, and then Russian women again. I must confess, I do love them both. Russia is such a large country that is possesses a buffet of all kinds of vodkas and women. Delicious! Okay, back to business.
Here are some facts about our new Russian moja devushka (girl friend). The main ingredients of Stolichnaya vodka are some of the world’s finest wheat grains and artesian water from the Russian region of Kaliningrad. After 60 hours of fermentation, the result is distilled four times and slightly diluted to a proof of 80 using extra artesian water. After filtering several times, the final product is ready to be bottled. By the way, the Russian word Stolichnaya translates to the word “capital,” and the building in the background of the label is the Hotel Moskva. Stalin actually stayed there once. Not that anyone gives a crap. Personally, I think they should have put a hot Russian female on the label instead…one that is very lightly clothed and carrying a Kalashnikov. Now that’s a hot-selling vodka even if it tastes like govno (shit)! Okay, let’s see if this mail-order bride is worth keeping. Is she total suka (bitch) that marries you for a green card and takes you for all you have, or is she a genuine keeper that might actually pay for dinner once and awhile?
Since some of us BoozeBashers are still haunted by horrible vodkas in our past, it’s common that we take several scent samples before tasting, always wary of the dreaded smell. We were spared this time. Even good vodkas can have a strong alcohol smell, but Stolichnaya actually has a very pleasant floral and sweet scent to it. Upon contact with the palet, there is a taste very similar to that of the scent, but a sour alcohol taste follows quickly. The taste doesn’t linger too long though. Unfortunately, there were no fireworks with Stolichnaya, but we have experienced much worse. The overall consensus was that she was very average naked. Now to dress her up a bit, we added a splash of Sprite. This eased the sourness and made it a little above average as far as taste. Stoli and Sprite is actually a decent drink that gets better and better as the taste buds become more willing. Sort of like when you see her for the first time and she’s average; then a few hours/drinks later she’s looking great. Yeah, you know the drill all too well. Well, this Russian broad is a bit better when dressed. That’s not always a good thing, but I get to take her out to see what she’s really like.
If I can remember correctly, I believe I had up to eight drinks, each loaded with over a shot of Stolichnaya. The first three were on the rocks, two topped with Sprite, and the remaining drinks were topped with Red Bull. It was definitely not my favorite mix, but it worked pretty well to give me the energy boost I desperately needed. The resulting drunk was pretty good, and I was pinging off the wall from the caffeine. Although it was probably only a can’s worth of Red Bull, it kept me from getting too drunk. That was a good thing because Stoli wanted to see some adult entertainment at the local gent’s club. She’s such a bad girl! After lots of fun, it was time to call it quits around 2am. I followed the standard procedure of drinking a tall glass of water and leaving a refill next to my bed, only to have my cat knock it over in the middle of the night. To my astonishment, I woke up around 8am feeling pretty decent. Typically, vodka can do some damage to me. Perhaps it was the Red Bull; I don’t know. Whatever it was, I was grateful.
To sum things up, Stoli is not the type of girl who just wants a green card. She is more like the lesser-attractive type that will treat you decently. Unfortunately, you won’t be happy with her for long. You will always be on the prowl for a replacement. That is, if you have good vodka taste. Stolichnaya averages around $24 for a 750mL. That is a bit pricey when there are others out there such as Sobieski. That being said, I do believe I will dump her when I’m done using her, and if I run into her drunk in a bar, I might get some more if there are no alternatives.
Every once in a while, I come across something really interesting on the shelf at the liquor store. I was actually shopping for a dirt-cheap vodka to review, but I ran across Firefly Sweet Tea vodka. I had heard about it long ago from a poster on our forum, but this was my first time actually seeing the stuff locally. I am not at all a tea drinker, but even for $22 for a fifth, I had to give this stuff a try. It was just too different to leave there on the shelf.
Firefly Sweet Tea vodka is created on Wadmalaw Island in a small distillery about thirty miles South of Charleston, SC. It was created by SC locals Jim Irvin and Scott Newitt and uses real sugar and tea. The tea used to make Firefly Sweet Tea vodka is the only tea grown in the United States, which happens to be harvested less than five miles from the distillery. We tried another handmade vodka in Tito’s, and we were pretty impressed, so hopes were very high for this spirit.
Drinking Firefly Sweet Tea vodka on ice isn’t all that spectacular. The spirit tastes a lot like tea up front. It’s very sweet and a little bitter at the same time. The flavor of the vodka rears it’s ugly head in the finish though. There is a little kick there with a slight bit of burn. It doesn’t seem like the vodka they add their tea and sugar to is anything special. I’m sure it would burn a good bit on it’s own. The finish is dry, and you would swear you just took a sip of tea, as that flavor lingers on the tongue. I wouldn’t call Firefly Sweet Tea on teh rocks gross or anything, but it just seems a little raw and unrefined. Some people may find it a little too sweet. The first sip seems to be the best taste. Each subsequent sip seems to tates a little more dirty. There’s just something that isn’t quite right about it.
Creating mixed drinks with Firefly Sweet Tea vodka is really a mixologist’s dream. If you enjoy being a mad scientist about your drink-making, look no further for an awesome ingredient. The creation we used for our taste test was about half Firefly Sweet Tea vodka and half Coke with a little lime juice. It tastes magnificent! It tastes like what I would envision a Long Island iced tea should be. Wade says it tastes a lot like Arizona Tea (which I hear is a rather tasty tea you can purchase at your local supermarket). Since I don’t drink much tea, I can’t vouch for that, but I will say the drink is very yummy! The guy behind the counter at our local liquor store suggested mixing it about half and half with lemonade. We were too lazy to acquire lemonade to try the drink, but I would image it could come out nicely if you enjoy sweet drinks. I think that would definitely qualify as a pinky-out drink. I will also note here, that with a little bit of water added to Firefly Sweet Tea vodka, it tastes damn near exactly like sweet tea. That’s just crazy to me! This spirit is definitely a winner when it comes to mixing.
After throwing back a few drinks with Firefly Sweet Tea, I was surprised by the little buzz I felt. I wasn’t sure the 70-proof would be enough to do much. I felt rather calm, and my vizion was even blurring slightly. That made for some interesting video game playing while sitting alone and half-naked on my couch. I had a very relaxing evening alone with a very minimal amount of tears. I’ll credit Firefly with helping. Unfortunately, the aforementioned buzz didn’t last very long. That exciting little buzz left me as quickly as it came, and I was never able to find it again. Since Firefly Sweet Tea vodka is loaded with sugar, I crashed pretty hard after a few hours. I felt like I could sleep for years. This would not be a great beverage to get you through the night without help. I would definitely recommend mixing in other things that are less sweet if you want to stay out for more than a few hours.
I didn’t feel any hangover at all the next day, which surprised me a bit. I normally expect sugary concoctions to give me a headache the following morning. Firefly Sweet Tea vodka was surprisingly gentle. I suppose if I had fought really hard to get a drunk, pounding maybe ten shots worth, I might have felt something the next morning, but the crash from the sugar high hit me too quickly for that to happen. I’m going to give this stuff a good hangover rating though since I really felt quite awesome the next morning. Maybe the sugar is at fault here, but there was entirely too much stickiness around the house after a night drinking this stuff. Be very careful where you make your pours. All in all, I wouldn’t call Firefly Sweet Tea vodka a great beverage, but drinking it is a very unique experience. If you like sweet tea at all, you owe it to yourself to give this spirit a try. You can make some tasty drinks with it, and the people at Firefly get a big thumbs up for creativity.
Sipability – 5.0
Mixability – 8.0
Drunkability – 5.5
Hangover-ability – 8.0
Bang for the Buck – 6.0
Overall - 6.5
What are your thoughts on Firefly Sweet Tea vodka?
Since the dawn of civilization (or at least since the advent of cake baking), people have wanted to have their cake and eat it too. That’s pretty much what I was thinking when I purchased Skyy vodka. I remembered drinking fair amounts of it in my early drinking days and considering it an underrated spirit. The $22 price tag won’t hurt the wallet as much as a top-shelf spirit, but the people at Skyy claim the taste rivals that of the big names in the vodka world. They even label it ”ultra-premium.” That sounds promising.
Skyy vodka started in San Fransico in 1992, and quickly became a very popular brand in the US. The company founder, Maurice Kanbar, pioneered a quadruple distillation, triple filtration and reverse-osmosis process to create an exceptionally smooth vodka. Skyy has been lauded as a “Hot Brand” and ”Brand of the Future.” I think the folks at Svedka may have something to say about that. I can certainly see there being two vodkas of the future, but I guess I’m just a glutton for booze. Those accolades sound even more promising than the reasonable price and my fuzzy memories.
After finally cracking open the bottle, my nose was assaulted with a harsh rubbing alcohol-like scent. Skyy certainly doesn’t smell like the ultra-premium spirit they claim it to be. I would liken the smell to that of Aristocrat vodka. After a pour over some ice and a sip, I have to admit I was a little disappointed. Skyy goes down extremely smooth. In fact, it is one of the smoother vodkas I have consumed, but the taste is just not very pleasant. It has a very bland and almost cheap taste. I can understand why an inexperienced drinker would enjoy this spirit so much. The smoothness makes for easy shooting and drinking, but after tasting a number of premium vodkas, the taste just doesn’t measure up to the big boys. The bland taste leaves you with an almost dirty finish and aftertaste. It makes for very unpleasant breath. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to feel like a fire-breathing dragon when I talk to people at the bar.
Mixed, Skyy works a little better. It blends well with Sprite, but it certainly doesn’t add anything to it. There isn’t any added yumminess, and you still get that dirty aftertaste. I can see Skyy making a good mixer to use with fruit juices or something with a moderate amount of flavor to cover the dirty finish. The smoothness would make for a good fruity beverage, but I can’t say that I get in a fruity mood too often.
After drinking a fair amount of Skyy, I’m somewhat pleased with the results. I got a little drunk. Skyy did an awesome job of soothing my rage. My Xbox 360 crapped out on me (for the second time) with the dreaded “red ring of death,” but Skyy was on my side. Thankfully, Wade handled the talking to India part of the night, but I could have really lost it if I didn’t have Skyy to help. I stayed somewhat calm and receptive, even when I was told that computer problems (at Microsoft, India Branch, I assume) prevented them from looking up my previous issues. Perhaps the people at Skyy knew of the amazingly helpful coping assitance provided by their spirit when they came up with the idea for this banned commercial (look below).
I don’t know if the advertisement is a fake or not, but I can certainly understand Skyy vodka helping with a father’s patience in dealing with his bratty kids. Kudos to Skyy for helping me through the evening.
The next morning, I awoke in good shape. My breath was terrible. I also felt a little cloudy-headed, but there was no headache or sickness. That leads me to believe that Skyy might make a good booze to consume in excessive quantities. Not that I condone such acts, but I can picture certain rage-filled situations that might call for a little extra vodka to calm the beast. Seasoned vodka drinkers and people with discerning palates may want to look elsewhere for their next liquor adventure, but those who enjoy fruity beverages or people who really want something to take the edge off might just want to give Skyy vodka a try.
Imagine a tall, Russian brunette with long legs, a tight yet curvy body, heavy accent, educated, athletic, and a sexual appetite more vicious than a rabid pitbull. Then come back to reality and have a tall drink of Russian vodka. That’s right; for most of us unfortunate souls, the vodka is about the only thing in common we will ever experience with those Russian beauties. Life is so unfair; oh well, let’s have another drink! Today we are going to discuss Stolichnaya Russian vodka, then Russian women, and then Russian women again. I must confess, I do love them both. Russia is such a large country that is possesses a buffet of all kinds of vodkas and women. Delicious! Okay, back to business. 
Every once in a while, I come across something really interesting on the shelf at the liquor store. I was actually shopping for a dirt-cheap vodka to review, but I ran across 
Mixability – 8.0
Since the dawn of civilization (or at least since the advent of cake baking), people have wanted to have their cake and eat it too. That’s pretty much what I was thinking when I purchased 
